


Take My Breath Away

by wallscrolls



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, And full of sex, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, But here's a list of planned stuff for now, Choking, Hand Jobs, I am making a concession by tagging Kuro with two different names, I might need to add warnings as I keep writing it, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Oral Sex, Snuff, This is going to be sad, This was going to be a one shot but then it got too long, Topping from the Bottom, erotic asphyxiation, what did i write, what the hell did i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:20:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallscrolls/pseuds/wallscrolls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shintaro Kisaragi caught on very quickly to the fact that this guy was going to continue coming back to his room, continue pushing past his boundaries, and continue making his body feel really, really good for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There was nothing that separated one day from the next. With the shades in his room drawn shut for long enough that a heavy layer of dust had settled around the edges, Shintaro Kisaragi lived one single, long existence that had ceased to be divided into meaningless things like ‘days’ and ‘nights’. He stayed awake until he was tired, and then he went to sleep until he wasn’t. That was how time flowed onwards in his isolated world.

The words from the message boards ebbed and flowed as his computer clock cycled through meaningless numbers, occasionally overflowing on sequences that might be referred to as ‘holidays’ or ‘vacations’, or slowing to a trickle on times talked about as ‘exams’. But none of that mattered to a person like him, and those like him whom he came to be vaguely cognizant of.

At some point one of those people joined him in his monotony. Though the arrival of the one who called herself ‘Ene’ had seemed at first like it might be something to disrupt the cycle, soon things had fallen back into their previous place with only a little more frustration on top of what had been before.

He wondered if he had somehow hoped for something different, and that had been what had brought the virus to him. But even if he had, such a thing could surely only be seen as a coincidence.

Being a computer program, she neither slept nor ate, and thus had even less of a distinction between the artificial constructions of one day and the next than he did. If something were to pull him out of this endless day, where he could look on the past as something only a ‘yesterday’ ago, it would not be something like her, he thought.

There would need to be someone else.

At some point on that endless day, the door to his room opened, and he spoke before he’d even pushed the headphones from his ears.

“I’ve said it a hundred times already; you have to knock first before you just open…”

But the rest of the words died on his lips as he turned to find neither his sister nor his mother in the doorway of his room. No, this was a complete stranger, clothed in black and just standing there as if he owned the house even though Shintaro had never seen him before in his life.

A burglar?

In this sort of situation, this type of person would most definitely be a burglar.

Now that he thought about it, both his mother and his sister were probably out, since the two of them were often away at the same time. So anyone who would observe the house would probably think those two were probably the only ones living here.

Such a person would surely break in while they were away.

“I-I’ll call the police…!”

The words made it out of his mouth before he realized that he didn’t really have anything to follow through on that threat with. There was no phone in his room, and his old cellphone had never had reception in the house. But, a burglar wouldn’t know something like that…

Or, they shouldn’t.

Despite the fact that this person shouldn’t know anything like that, he took a step forward into the room, then another, calmly approaching Shintaro with an unnerving expression on his face. This wasn’t a situation he was prepared for. What was he supposed to do at this point? Run, maybe, and call the police from the phone downstairs…

The person was standing over him, now, and in the light from the computer monitor Shintaro could see that this person looked to be a boy around his own age. He was tall, too, or at the least he seemed to be from Shintaro’s perspective in his chair.

Ah, what was this guy doing so close to him?!

“I-I mean it! I’ll—!”

He got no farther than that, because that was when he snapped his lips shut as the stranger leaned down and kissed him.

Shintaro was stunned for a second, but suddenly jerked back, separating their lips and awkwardly trying to get some distance between them as he put a hand over his mouth. “What the hell are you doing?!”

This person simply gave him a wider smile, showing teeth now. “Ah, why would you give me such a hostile reaction, Shintaro Kisaragi? The sooner you go along with it, the sooner you’ll start enjoying it.” He spoke smoothly, a dark edge to his tone, and the words sent a shiver through Shintaro.

“How do you know my n—mmph?!”

He cut off again as the boy grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away, the hand that had been protecting his poor virgin mouth which had never kissed anyone outside of his family before, never had anything in it besides food, a toothbrush, and dentist’s tools, maybe a thermometer or a tongue depressor but certainly not—

—another tongue—

Shintaro made a startled noise and tried to jerk back again, but there had come to be a hand on the back his head, holding him closer so that this stranger could keep their lips together. His tongue was not quite in Shintaro’s mouth but running against the skin where his lips were pressed shut tightly in an effort to keep him out. It sent weird shivers through him, but he struggled anyway, trying to move away or pull his head free. Shouldn’t he be able to push away or something? Who the hell was this guy, anyway?!

In retaliation, he reached up and grabbed the stranger’s hair. Maybe he could pull him away, or at least grab tightly enough to hurt him…

He heard a chuckle, and then the fingers in his hair twisted suddenly enough that he gave a startled cry of pain. That was all this person needed to push his tongue past Shintaro’s lips. Shintaro made another sound, and this time, he found himself actively struggling. No, this wasn’t okay. Something was wrong, there wasn’t supposed to be something like this…!

At some point with his squirming the chair slipped from underneath him and their lips finally separated as Shintaro crashed to the floor hard enough to knock the wind out of him for a moment. The stranger continued to stand over him, but before he could do or say anything, a voice rang out.

“Konoha, stop!”

Both of them paused. Shintaro couldn’t see her from where he’d landed, but pushing himself up into a sitting position, he could see the top third or so of his monitor, enough to realize that Ene had a bit of a frantic and scared expression as she stared at this… Konoha?

“Konoha? Is that your name?”

His gaze drifted towards Ene for a moment, and then he grinned again as he turned back to Shintaro. “No.”

Ene’s eyes went wide, and she seemed to move back a little, making it harder for Shintaro to see her. But she wasn’t who he focused on, as the person who was not ‘Konoha’ moved so he was standing nearly on top of him. Shintaro found himself scooting back, trying to move away but not quite having the strength to pull himself to his feet and run.

He kneeled down, and Shintaro could feel his heart beating faster than it had in… years? Certainly, the only thing that had come close was some of Ene’s first pranks, when they had begun establishing their relationship and Shintaro learned what boundaries were completely lost. Ah, this felt kind of like that, now that he thought about it. Not his data, but the boundaries for his personal space…

Speaking of personal space, he could feel fingers against the skin of his waist and he jumped. “H-hey, don’t—!”

“Shhh…” He leaned over Shintaro, grinning, pressing a finger to his lips. It shut Shintaro up, if for no other reason than he didn’t want _that_ put into his mouth, too. But then he felt the fingers against his side moving towards his back, tracing out strange lines, and a spike of heat unexpectedly shot up his back. Shintaro shuddered then froze, suddenly acutely aware that he might want to cross his legs.

The stranger smirked.

“I’ll make it feel good for you… I know just how to do it. Just let me work, Shintaro…” The fingers on his back turned to nails, and dragged a line up his skin that pulled… was that a moan? It… was most definitely a moan that had slipped out of his mouth. Shintaro flushed and tried to move away again, but a hand pushed his shoulder down to the floor and then the stranger was completely on top of him.

“H… hey, don’t I get a say in this or anything?!”

No, apparently. Apparently the answer was no, because all that his protest got was a chuckle in response, and then this person was pressing lips to the side of his neck. It made him squirm uncomfortably, because his body was starting to heat up in a way that was familiar and not entirely welcome in this situation. But then he felt this person nibble a spot on his neck that sent a shock of heat through him, and the start of a moan leapt from his throat before he could stop it.

“… H-how…?”

How did this person already know how to get these sorts of reactions from him? He’d never met this guy before, and yet he knew exactly what to do…

Just like he’d said he would.

“Who the… h-hell are you…?”

Shintaro didn’t get an answer, except for lips pressing against his again. He didn’t let this person’s tongue into his mouth, even though his lips were getting licked again. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe if he’d let him in, the stranger wouldn’t respond by breaking the kiss and moving his face downwards along Shintaro’s chest and body. Shintaro sucked in a nervous breath, but his only protest was turning his head to the side to keep his gaze on the computer tower next to him as hands slowly pushed his shirt up to reveal his stomach to the cool air of the room. Soon he was positively squirming under the attention of tongue and fingers, his pants starting to get uncomfortable. His breathing had long since turned heavy and small noises slipped out with abandon.

Bit by bit those fingers danced lower, hitting what must have been every sensitive spot he had on the journey downwards. By the time they were at the edge of his pants, it was almost a relief to feel them opening his fly. But then Shintaro realized what was happening and startled. “Wait—!”

His gaze snapped downwards just in time to watch his cock disappear into the stranger’s mouth, and Shintaro felt a jolt travel up his spine. This was not like a hand. This was absolutely nothing like a hand.

“Wh-what’re you… d-doing…”

Though it was obvious, wasn’t it? The way that this guy was moving his head up and down, the way that his tongue was swirling around Shintaro’s cock and making his hips twitch, the way that he pressed a spot between Shintaro’s legs that dragged an embarrassingly loud moan from him and had him putting a hand to his mouth as his other hand flew to this guy’s head…

It was something ridiculous, like a porno gone wrong. The man shows up to the woman’s house, gets invited in, gets seduced… in that case, would that make him the woman? But he never invited this guy in, didn’t ask for sex, hell he didn’t even get a _name_ out of this guy or anything. He was just getting sucked off on the floor of his room by this random person who somehow knew exactly how to handle him. That’s right, shouldn’t he be struggling? Or, something… though, he didn’t really want to struggle, and it felt really damn good. Especially the way that there was that finger pressing between his legs, driving his body straight towards…

He gave a choked noise as he was taken by a more intense orgasm than any he’d felt before. Shintaro tensed up as he spilled himself into the stranger’s mouth, and this person didn’t make any noise or complaint about it. Surely it couldn’t be comfortable, the way that Shintaro was sure he was shooting out more liquid than any time before straight into this guy’s mouth, and yet he didn’t feel any of it leaking out at all…

He slowly relaxed, giving an unsteady exhale through his nose as he settled into the warmth of post-orgasm.

This wasn’t what he’d ever imagined. He always figured, if… he ever managed to lose his virginity, it would be someone cute, a girl, someone… nice, and cheerful, and gentle…

Not this guy with his unnerving smile and the way that he kept working Shintaro’s body regardless of any protests.

He pressed his hands to his face and gave a slightly frustrated sigh. Down by his belt, the stranger was tucking him back into his pants, but he paused as Shintaro made that noise. “Is something wrong, Shintaro?”

“What the _hell_ kind of question is that…” he mumbled, still blocking his eyes with his hands. “I have no idea who you even are, and you just came in here and sucked me off like…” Like what? Like… he already knew him. Like he already knew him like _that_. Who the hell was this guy, even…? “You had your way with me, so now I think I deserve an answer. Who the hell are you?”

The stranger chuckled again, and Shintaro peeked through his fingers to see him smirking up at him. “I’m someone who knows you much better than you know me. So don’t worry about the details. By the time this is all over, it won’t matter anyway.”

“What the hell does that mean? And that wasn’t an answer at all…!”

But the stranger was finishing up and standing back up. Without even so much as a glance back at Shintaro, he turned and walked out of the room.

Shintaro settled back on the floor with another annoyed noise. He should probably move, but that sounded like more effort than he wanted to expend at the moment. Ah, damn, he was getting tired now, too. Maybe he’d just take a nap first.


	2. Chapter 2

When he woke up, he could hear the sound of his mother downstairs, making noises in the kitchen. Probably, no one had checked on him or anything like that. He slowly pulled himself up, rolled his chair back from where it had escaped to when it slipped out from beneath him, and crawled into it.

Ene was sitting on the navigation bar of his screen, her back to him as she scrolled through the posts on a message board. As much as she made fun of him for doing the same, the constantly-updating discussions seemed to be what she kept herself company with while he was asleep. It seemed weird to him that whatever she was, she couldn’t amuse herself otherwise. If she was a virus, why would she get bored at all? Or why not go find someone who was awake whom she could bother, and leave him in peace…

“Hey.”

She startled and turned around, and her expression felt like one he hadn’t seen in a long while. Were it anyone actually capable of feeling such things, he’d have thought it would be something like concern. But she froze there, like that, staring him straight in the face, and after a few seconds, he found himself getting annoyed.

“What?”

“Ah! Um… Master, are you… okay?”

She seemed to not know how to deal with this topic, but neither did Shintaro, who made an awkward noise and turned towards his doorway. Closed, just like he’d left it. Just like it had been before, sealing him in this disconnected world where time flowed at a crawl and the past never got any further away. “Hell if I know. Did you know that guy? You called him… Konoha, right?”

She seemed scared for a moment, but when he continued to stare at her with his flat expression, she relaxed enough to return to something more like a simple unease. “You know, well… it wasn’t him, right? I guess since the light in your room is always off, it’s hard to see people who aren’t right in front of the screen! But, he was kind of weird, don’t you think? And he had those yellow eyes…”

“… Huh? What are you even talking about, ‘yellow eyes’? And, you don’t get to call people weird…”

She puffed out her cheeks at him and leaned in closer, taking up about half the screen with her face. “Eeh? You mean you didn’t even notice?! He was right on top of you!—ah—”

Ene covered her mouth with her hands, moving back just a little, and Shintaro’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Well, excuse me for having other things on my mind.” He slammed a hand on the desk as he stood up, and made his way to his bed to lie down.

“Ah, Master, I didn’t…! Ah… err…”

But he’d already decided to ignore her until he fell asleep again. At the very least, maybe now she’d feel guilty about bothering him. She said some more things he didn’t even bother listening to, his back facing away from her so she had no idea whether his eyes were open or shut.

Shintaro didn’t want to be thinking about it. Didn’t want to be thinking about _him_. This person who appeared out of nowhere and handled him like a lover he’d known for years. Shintaro was absolutely, completely certain he’d never seen this guy before in his life. There was no way that anyone should be able to do something like that.

But he knew what he felt, and that’s the part that didn’t make any sense. Thinking back on it, it had all seemed so easy. He hadn’t even really fought back at any point, had he? Even when he found himself getting uncomfortable. It had just all flowed together, somehow, in a way that felt more right than it should have when it was something so unfamiliar.

He dragged his fingernails across his neck, not hard enough to break skin but enough to make him wonder how the red would look if it spilled out to frame his face.

It would match her, wouldn’t it?

 

* * *

 

It happened again, at some point that was a passage of time irrelevant to him later, but long enough for he and Ene to have dropped the conversation like talk of a bad dream. A trick of a warped and depraved psychology seeking some sort of release, only to manifest itself in a shameful and twisted desire only somewhat related to his own interests.

They stopped talking about it, and he showed up in Shintaro’s doorway again.

“Seriously, what the hell…?!”

But the stranger didn’t answer him. The stranger only grinned at him, and walked towards him, owning the space with just his brazen confidence.

Shintaro watched him this time, waiting for the moment. His door had been left open; that was his chance. Surely, even someone like him, someone who was never into athletics and who had been inactive long enough that his muscles had definitely atrophied, surely even a person like that could run fast enough to matter when it came to saving his own life. He just needed to wait for the right opportunity.

The other boy was about two arms’ lengths away when Shintaro took his chance. With the element of surprise, and with so little time to react, surely, he could get past him and out the door—

“—Whoa!!!”

Ah, but there was a leg there, a leg that he either hadn’t noticed or that had moved to just the right angle to reach out and catch his foot, sending him to the floor and ending his escape attempt in an instant.

“Why, Shintaro, surely you’re not trying to _leave_ , are you?”

Feet were on either side of him before he’d even thought to get his arms and legs back underneath him. He started to push himself up just in time to be pressed back to the floor by this person sitting down on his lower back. The guy leaned in and with only two fingers managed to turn Shintaro’s chin to the side and up a bit so they were nearly face to face as he shifted closer.

Ene was right. His eyes were a strange, definitely unnatural yellow.

“Go to hell…!”

Even with the awkward angle, Shintaro could get a fistful of the guy’s hair. But when he tried to yank him forwards, tried to smash that smug face of his into the floor next to Shintaro’s head, he didn’t budge one bit. Shintaro didn’t have enough time to even be surprised by it before a hand gripped his wrist, pressing and opening his fingers despite his efforts to keep them closed, and turned his arm around to be pinned up behind his back just high enough that it started to hurt.

“O-ow, hey…!!”

He felt his shirt being pushed up again, and Shintaro tensed. But then practiced fingers were tracing lines along his skin, over and between muscles and along ridges, varying pressure to be almost exactly right in each spot. It was impossible. Someone who knew his body this well was absolutely impossible.

“… a-aah…”

Backs weren’t supposed to be that sexy, right? Or sensitive. In all of his porn, only once had he seen someone get turned on just from having their back handled, and that was when it was some sort of massage, that had soon turned into fondling the woman’s breasts anyway…

But the way he felt the floor press more and more against his cock could only mean that he was getting aroused. Just from stupid fingers, and the slight throb of his shoulder in protest, though that part seemed much more inconsequential now than it had a minute or two ago. Shintaro let his left arm rest uselessly on the floor, because he had no doubt that if he tried to use it to resist it would be pinned just as easily as his right had, and his left hand was much less useful anyway. It would be all pain with no chance of success for it. He let his left arm lay limp, and let this guy continue to do whatever the hell he was doing to his back, and bit by bit his breathing got heavier and his body heated up.

Like some weird dream, where the normal rules of arousal didn’t need to apply.

Fingers gently tapped his lips, startling him back from his thoughts.

“Suck on them.”

He turned a little and his gaze darted upwards to stare at the stranger, surprise and slight panic in his expression. It’s not that he sought out _those_ sorts of comics, specifically, but there was no way to be on the message boards for a while and not happen to read a few even by sheer accident. He knew what that sort of a command was leading to.

“Ah, that’s a lovely look. It really suits you, Shintaro Kisaragi. I really like that sort of expression on you, but I’m not going to do what you’re thinking. So keep making that face, since you don’t trust me, but suck anyway.”

Nearly forgotten, the hand he was using to pin Shintaro’s arm clenched, sending a spike of pain straight up his limb. He winced and let out a soft groan but, with no real options otherwise, slowly opened his mouth just enough to let those fingers in.

This guy was surprisingly gentle about it for someone pinning him to the floor. The two fingers slipped in, and after a moment, gently prodded his tongue. It made him startle slightly, but after a moment he sealed his lips around the fingers and began hesitantly running his tongue against them. At least they didn’t taste like much, though that also meant it was hard for him to imagine this as some weird sort of popsicle, or something else innocent that he could at least pretend was stuck in his mouth. And such a thing would have gotten even more difficult, as a few seconds later the fingers started moving as well, stroking along different parts of his mouth, catching his tongue between the two of them and rolling it gently. Maybe, possibly, this was kind of what it was like to make out with someone, to feel someone else in his mouth and give them attention in return.

… He shouldn’t have thought that, he realized, as his erection throbbed between his legs. Now that he was thinking about it, this felt far too erotic. Those fingers were pushing deeper in and spreading a little, making it impossible for him to seal his mouth shut on them. Ah, shit, he was salivating with no way to stop it from dripping out. It distracted him for a moment, but then those fingers were coaxing his tongue to engage them again and his focus slipped back to that instead.

“Good. Nice and wet, just like that. You already know what to do for this, don’t you? Even without my help.”

The noise that came out was because he’d been startled, but even to his own ears it sounded terribly lewd. Those fingers pushed further in, and after a moment he set to moistening the skin that had freshly entered his mouth.

Right, if he did that, it was supposed to hurt less, wasn’t it? That was what this was for in the first place…

…—Hey, why was he even going along with such a thing, anyway? He was a man, wasn’t he?! And there’s no way a man should just submit to something like this!

His left hand came up to grab the stranger’s wrist, but he didn’t even get his fingers closed around it before that hand had left his mouth, and not a second later his left arm was pinned up behind his back as well.

“Ah, and you were being so well-behaved this time! Well, not that it’s unexpected, but I was hoping that maybe for once we’d be able to get through this without having to restrain both your arms.”

Shintaro could feel the saliva on two of the fingers holding his left wrist, and even in his disgust it was some comfort. At least this way, that guy couldn’t really do anything himself, right? Or so Shintaro had thought, but then he felt shifting as his arms were moved around a little, and a moment later this stranger was managing to pin down both his wrists using just one hand. Shintaro made a surprised noise and tried to pull away, even using both arms at once, but the grip held strong and his arms barely budged.

No way.

That sort of thing was just too cruel and unfair!

Rather, shouldn’t it be impossible for a normal person to do this sort of thing?!

“It’s alright, Shintaro. I’ll finish this for you.”

He leaned forwards so his face was next to Shintaro’s, and then seemed to take great pleasure in loudly and sloppily licking his fingers for Shintaro to watch. And because he had shifted forwards, Shintaro could feel something hard pressing more and more at his lower back as the stranger continued to messily drool and slurp right in front of his face. It made Shintaro’s stomach turn to watch, so despite the danger in it, he shut his eyes and turned his face away a little. It wasn’t that he was resigned to his fate, per se. He just didn’t really have any idea of how he was supposed to fight it. But definitely, he thought, if he saw another possibility for escape, he’d take it. So that meant that he wasn’t resigned just yet. Right?

He didn’t realize the sounds had stopped until he felt his sweatpants being slid off his ass. Shintaro gasped loudly, eyes snapping wide open and he turned to look up at the stranger again. Ah, if he’d known this would be happening, he would have worn some pants with a belt, to at least make this more difficult for this guy. He was grinning down at Shintaro, not even watching what he was doing as he slipped the fabric further off his skin.

Shintaro’s heart froze as a finger pushed straight past his muscles and into his ass. Pain immediately spiked through his lower back and he winced and hissed.

“Mmm, so tight. You’re always so tight when we begin, aren’t you? Don’t worry. You’ll loosen up for me, just like you always do. But for now, _relax_ , Shintaro Kisaragi…”

His face twisted into a pained glare. “You say ‘relax’ like that’s even possible in this sort of situation…! If you want me to relax, get the hell off of me!” He tried to pull his arms free once again, and once again, they didn’t budge. The stranger’s smirk didn’t waver.

“But if I get off of you, you won’t hold still enough for me to do _this_ …”

It was as if Shintaro had given himself three enthusiastic strokes in rapid succession, the way the sudden burning pleasure flooded his body when the stranger’s finger found _something_ , the exact something he’d been looking for, inside of Shintaro. He had already choked on a gasp and coughed out a moan before he could do anything, and he _really_ didn’t need to see that triumphant look on the creepy face above him.

So that was the mythical spot that could make a man betray his own manhood, huh? The secret place most guys didn’t dare seek to touch, though it was said to be a rival to the feeling of jerking off…

Unfortunately, Shintaro found himself agreeing with the accounts of those with different perversions to his own. Though he didn’t want to think about it, probably, he could come like this, if this guy kept touching him in that spot like that…

He felt that finger move again and he tried to jerk his arms away once more, though his strength was waning by the moment. Another noise slipped out, and he realized that saliva had started leaking down his chin once again. “Sh-shit, don’t… _do that—!!”_

He wasn’t stopping. He _wasn’t stopping_. He continued to move his finger back and forth inside Shintaro, and Shintaro was helpless to do anything but suffer through it. Well, maybe ‘suffer’ wasn’t quite the right word, with how good it all felt. And it felt _really_ good. Like jerking off, but without any hand on his dick. Fuck, it felt really, really good.

“See? Now you’re taking two fingers easily!”

Was that two fingers? He couldn’t tell. He couldn’t tell at all. It didn’t hurt whatsoever, even though he’d never had anything in his ass before now. It was just this incessant, rolling heat flooding him over and over. He found himself trying to push his ass up a little just so that he could give his erection some space, but he didn’t have the strength to lift the stranger on top of him one bit. Maybe that was for the better, since he would have pushed back against those fingers more, too. His legs just shifted awkwardly, and the heat in him started to build, started to gather and focus…

“Come for me, Shintaro.”

Of all things, after hearing that, he wanted to hold it back. But those fingers gave one more long, slow rub inside of him, and such a thing became completely impossible. His whole body jerked and he moaned as his orgasm hit, just as ordered. The heat from before completely consumed him, making his entire body go tense and he could only ride it out as fingers continued to stroke him through it all.

In the haze of his orgasm, he found his mind scrambling for trains of thought that seemed to slip from his focus the moment he latched onto them. Shit, he was going to need to change his pants now. Maybe he’d have to wipe something off the floor. Ah, he’d probably drooled enough that he needed to clean that, anyway…

… Actually, wasn’t this the part he should be worried about? Now that he’d gotten off, and with this guy’s erection pressed into his back, there was really only one way this could go. Shintaro tried to pull himself free, but still in the grip of his orgasm there wasn’t really anything he could do. Even if he could fight against this guy holding him down, his muscles weren’t responding to what he wanted them to do.

Had he ever had an orgasm last this long? Usually it was just enough for him to release his load and then a few moments afterwards before things started to fade, but this wasn’t fading, this was still hot enough to melt his insides and still pulling noises from his throat. This was much more intense than he was ready for; he had no idea his body could even keep an orgasm going this long. But sure enough, the heat from the moment of climax was only just now starting to wane. His body finally relaxed, though he wasn’t sure whether or not it was because those fingers inside of him were finally beginning to still and pull out.

Shintaro slumped against the floor, not even moving as the hand holding his arms against his back finally let up. Fuck, this all was too much exertion for someone like him to handle. He felt a hand cup his cheek gently and tilt his head upwards, and he just barely looked in time to see the stranger leaning down, and then their lips were together. He let this guy kiss him, because he was too exhausted to do otherwise. He let that tongue into his mouth, finally, because he didn’t have it in him to resist. Or maybe he didn’t want to resist.

“You really are just going to let me do anything, aren’t you?”

Fingernails dug into his cheeks and Shintaro sucked in a hard breath, startling, eyes going wide and muscles tensing as much as he could manage when he was so worn out. He finally dragged an arm from his back and wrapped his fingers around the guy’s wrist, but he couldn’t even manage the strength to squeeze.

_Oh, fuck._

The stranger’s mouth twisted into a smirk, and after a moment he laughed.

“Yes, that face! The tragedy of inevitability seeping into your awareness! Ah, such a wonderful expression you make for me, Shintaro. I look forward to seeing it many more times. After all, today is not the day when I will do what you’re so afraid of.”

He pulled his hand away suddenly and Shintaro’s head fell back to the floor hard enough to make a thump, but then the guy was standing up again. Shintaro’s heart was still thudding in his chest, but without saying anything more, without doing anything else the stranger walked to the exit of his room and shut the door behind him.

… He actually hadn’t. He actually _hadn’t_ done what Shintaro was afraid of. Shintaro wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was some attempt to build up trust between them, a trust that Shintaro could trust only to be broken to this sicko’s probable delight.

_Just don’t trust him, no matter what_ , he said to himself as he found his exhaustion dragging him into sleep on his floor once again.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ew, it— _stinks_ —”

The smell of saliva on the floor woke him from his sleep. It wasn’t like he didn’t sometimes sleep with his mouth open, but this was certainly even more spit than would have come out of that. He shifted a little, and suddenly became keenly aware of the smell of his own perspiration. He never moved much, barely any at all, so he almost never worked up this much of a sweat, even when masturbating. Actually, this was kind of overwhelming…

Shintaro pulled himself up from the floor and immediately felt his underwear stick to his skin.

Ugh.

_Right._

“Ene, are Mom or Momo home yet?”

“Hmm? Ah, yeah. Your mom came by to say she was cooking dinner. She’ll probably be done soon. Little sister seems to be in her room.”

Shintaro slowly pulled himself to his feet and looked down at his clothes. His shirt looked fine enough, but there was a large stain on his pants that would be hard to miss, even for someone who wasn’t looking for it. So probably he needed to change them even before stepping outside his room.

“…?”

Something seemed strange, and he lifted his head to look at his computer. Ene sat quietly against his desktop background, staring towards him but not at him, gaze unfocused. As if she was actually looking at something slightly in front and to the left of him.

“What’s with you?”

“Hmm?” She blinked and focused back on him, tilting her head a little. “What sort of a question is that? Master shouldn’t be asking weird things of a delicate lady like me!”

“You’ve been unusually quiet for a while now. Normally you’d be making some annoying fuss, or trying to bait me into something that would get Mom mad at me…”

“Well… ah. I thought, you know, since Master was just deflowered, maybe I should be gentle with you for a little while!” As she said it, she pulled up on the screen a picture of a red flower with one of its petals obviously missing, as if to demonstrate.

Shintaro sputtered for a moment. “Wha—‘deflowered’?! Don’t use a word like that that’s only used for girls to talk about me!”

“But it’s what happened, right? He even said he got two fingers inside of you. I heard him.” As if he needed further demonstration, she held up two fingers. Though, hers were held apart, and that guy’s had—ah.

No. He wasn’t going to think about that.

Actually, why was he even thinking about it at all right now? Or discussing this with this annoying virus of his?!

“And Master was making a lot of loud noises, like the women in his porn make. So I bet that guy wasn’t lying about it.”

Of course, she had to go and make that comparison.

“You know, you really did make a lot of noise. Have you secretly liked guys this whole time, Master?”

“How can you be so cruel to someone who was just deflowered?!”

He didn’t even bother changing his pants first, instead just grabbing a clean set of clothes and quickly making for the bathroom. Definitely, if he was going to go downstairs to get food with his family around, he couldn’t continue to smell like someone who had fallen asleep without even cleaning up his own orgasm.

… But that conversation with Ene was pretty unsettling, now that he thought about it. It was as if these encounters had already become something normal to the two of them. Just one more thing that occasionally happened, and then they bantered about it and forgot about it until it happened again.

Had that stranger really only showed up twice in his room so far?

At some point, was Shintaro going to stop thinking of him as a stranger?

Probably it was good that his mom hadn’t drawn the bathwater yet. Shintaro didn’t want to give himself time to be consumed by his thoughts right now.

Actually, given that he had fingers in his ass, he really wasn’t sore at all…

 

* * *

 

As much as Shintaro hated it, being awoken by one loud and obnoxious noise or another had become somewhat normal in his life. One of the most annoying parts of it, though, was that Ene did it only selectively, not nearly enough that he could be ready for it, or expect it, and of course he’d never manage to get used to it.

He felt like he was having a dream, but by the time the noise hit his ears, piercing through his consciousness and making his eardrums feel like they might burst, whatever dream had been interrupted slipped from his memories like smoke disappearing into the air.

His entire body jolted, causing him to knock his head into the wall right next to him, and the pain cleared his mind remarkably fast for being startled awake by this sort of thing. So rather than spend a moment in a blind and disoriented panic, as he usually did when she did this, he sat upwards almost immediately.

“Dammit, _Ene—!!”_

He turned to his computer just as the noise cut off, but whatever he’d been expecting to see, this wasn’t it. Ene was visible on his monitor, and standing next to it, one finger on the screen as if pressed to her lips, was the stranger yet again. It was hard to tell from where he was, but she almost looked… afraid.

Had she woken him up because that guy had come back?

“Ah, he’s awake already. Oh well. This works just as well, anyway.”

He took a step towards Shintaro on his bed, and then another, and almost as if it had indeed been silencing her the moment his finger left the screen Ene spoke up. “Hey—you! Don’t think you can just do whatever you want with Master!”

But he could, couldn’t he? That was why he could move with such confidence. He was so much stronger than Shintaro was, and he knew exactly how to handle him. Shintaro shifted and pushed his back against the wall behind him as the stranger crawled onto the bed next to him, smiling a smile so condescending that it was almost as if he were looking at something no more significant than a bug. And Shintaro felt like a bug. He felt like a bug this guy could just crush under his foot without even trying.

“You make such wonderful expressions for me…”

He placed his hands on Shintaro’s cheeks and slowly leaned in until their lips were pressed together. There was no politeness this time. There was no request. The stranger’s tongue forced its way past his lips easily, even somehow getting his teeth apart so it could invade his mouth. Shintaro let out a noise and tried to jerk away, but those hands held him still as that tongue ran all along the inside. In a way, he was worried that what had happened before would happen again, but it seemed the stranger had no weird tricks when it came to kissing him. There was just the kissing itself, which probably wouldn’t have been unpleasant on its own, but at least it didn’t make him squirm with unwanted desire.

This guy pulled back a little, and started to push his thumb into Shintaro’s mouth.

“You know, you could be putting your hands to much better use right now…”

Shintaro tried to duck his head to the side a little, but the hands kept him still, so all he could do was avert his gaze as he gave a small incoherent mumble around the finger. The stranger smirked.

“Say it louder.”

That startled him, and his gaze snapped back to those yellow eyes as he felt a chill run through his body. He knew what he’d wanted to say, but he hadn’t even put the effort into saying the sounds properly. So there was no way that this guy would have understood him, right?

But even as he thought that, those hands slid down his cheeks, past his jaw, to where they stopped on his throat. “ _Say it louder,_ Shintaro.” Any wider, and Shintaro was sure that grin would snap the stranger’s face in half.

He swallowed thickly, and even though he tried to speak, the words came out in a terrified, hoarse whisper. “I-I could be putting my h-hands around your s-stupid neck…”

He was completely certain then that the stranger was going to tighten those fingers of his. Shintaro was waiting for it, ready, ready to panic. But he didn’t. Those hands just stayed there, rubbing _gently_ of all things, tracing lines along his throat like a snake sliding around him that was moments away from constricting. “Mm, and you’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you… Watching as I struggle to breathe, feeling my pulse slow under your fingers… Strangling is such a beautiful way to kill someone, isn’t it? You get to observe every moment of the last bit of suffering that takes their life away. It’s not too quick, yet not too slow. When I have the chance to take my time, I’d even say it’s my favorite method.”

“You’re… sick—!”

He leaned in, just close enough that his nose started to tickle Shintaro’s throat. Shintaro found himself sucking in a breath and holding it. “And yet you… _you,_ Shintaro Kisaragi. Of the two of us, who is more twisted? The one who kills to live, or the one who kills to die…?”

“I’ve never—”

“ _You_ haven’t killed, not yet. Not with these pieces, scattered as they are. But you close your fingers around her throat and when she disappears, you drive the point into your own neck and wrap it in such a beautiful red.”

“What the hell are you even talking about…?!”

Instead of answering he placed a kiss on Shintaro’s skin and slid his hands down, over Shintaro’s shoulders and down his arms until he was holding him by the wrists. One hand he pulled up and took Shintaro’s fingers into his mouth, sliding his lips down them until Shintaro didn’t have any angle to pull them out again, and began to roll around them with his tongue, as if trying to coax Shintaro to play along. The other hand he pulled between his legs and pressed Shintaro against the stiffness there.

Shintaro gave an undignified squeaking noise as he froze. But that tongue continued to slide against his fingers, and it probably would have been pretty arousing if he weren’t so terrified of this person in front of him. And his other hand… against his will, the stranger pressed it closer and rubbed back against it, shifting his hips a little to get some friction.

Was he expected to play along? Almost definitely. But the soft feeling of a tongue on his fingers and the hard feeling of a clothed erection pressed against his hand both made his stomach turn. And, for the moment, this guy seemed content to let Shintaro remain frozen in shock and fear, licking his fingers and grinding against him as if heedless to the lack of reciprocation. But, that too had its danger, because it was all too soon that the very fact that this situation was so sexual—his own lack of desire be damned—made Shintaro’s own cock start to stiffen.

It was like this guy knew.

He let go of Shintaro’s lower hand, but no sooner had Shintaro jerked it away than the stranger crawled into his lap and resumed grinding, this time directly against Shintaro’s crotch. It pulled gasps from him, strained gasps that he wanted to stop, but this guy _kept rubbing_ , and kept sucking on his fingers, and all Shintaro could do was press his free hand to his mouth and turn away in a vain attempt to hide his noises.

It all felt far too pleasurable for what it was. At one point, his hips snapped up in response of their own accord, and Shintaro choked out a quick moan. He heard a laugh at that, felt it vibrate around his fingers, and held down a shiver. He was hard now, definitely, he knew. The incessant rubbing felt better and better by the second, and he tried to shove the stranger off of him before things built too far, before he had to change his pants again. “S-stop… _stop_ …!”

What he wasn’t ready for most of all, though, was for it to actually stop.

The guy shifted and moved back, off of Shintaro’s legs and putting some space between them, though he remained on Shintaro’s bed. He let Shintaro’s hand finally slip from his mouth and settled back, grinning despite, or maybe because of, the obvious tent in his own clothes. Shintaro spent a couple seconds gasping for breath, only just now realizing that he was breathing heavily at all, and then curled up a little on the bed as if putting some distance between this guy and himself would be of some help. His fingers brushed against his arm and he was reminded that they were coated in saliva that wasn’t his own. Shintaro made a disgusted expression and soon wiped his hand clean on the edge of his shirt.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

His gaze flicked up to the guy’s face, but he soon looked away again nervously. “Not like it matters. Whatever I do, you’ll just keep doing whatever suits you…”

“Ah, but it will hurt so much _less_ when you cooperate. And believe it or not, Shintaro, I’m not here for the purpose of hurting you.”

“Could’ve fooled me…” Maybe there was a part of him that thought it was going to work, but no sooner had he started trying to crawl past this guy and off the bed than he found himself pushed down on his back, one hand pressed against his shoulder with more than enough strength to hold his body down. “Tch… so what the hell _are_ you here for?!”

Though maybe he didn’t want the answer to that question.

The stranger’s face broke into another impossibly wide grin, and Shintaro thought he saw, for just a moment, those yellow eyes dart to his throat.

“I’m here because bodies have _needs_ , Shintaro. My body…” His free hand drifted to between Shintaro’s legs and settled on the erection there. “… and yours, too. You are the option I keep coming back to, over and over. You’re always here waiting for me. And you haven’t disappointed me yet.”

“You’re completely i-insane…” But his voice wavered as that hand pushed past his waistline and wrapped around his erection. Shintaro didn’t want to melt under that touch, but this guy seemed to know how to handle his cock even better than _he_ did. Unable to move away, he pressed his hands to his face to hold down his own noises.

The stranger chuckled. “You could be putting your hands to much better use right now…”

He stopped pressing Shintaro’s shoulder into the mattress to grab the bottom of his own oversized shirt and pull it up, revealing the top of his pants, still clothing a visible erection, and a small peek of the skin of his abdomen. Even in the darkened room it stood out starkly, light flesh surrounded by black and grey, and Shintaro’s eyes darted to that skin immediately. In the back of his mind it occurred to him that maybe he could get out now. There was only a hand on his dick, and if he thought he could slip free of that fast enough…

But one of his hands was already moving away from his mouth, towards that little bit of skin there. It was so much harder to consider escaping when he was being handled like this, when the flood of pleasurable heat was melting his insides, turning his muscles to nothing, fogging over his brain and sending shocks up and down every nerve he had.

His fingers touched that skin, and even the small contact sent a shiver up his spine. Or maybe that was the way that it felt like the stranger gave the slightest twist of his hand on Shintaro’s erection. Or, possibly, that was just an excuse he imagined up to justify his own reactions to touching this person in front of him.

Shintaro paused just long enough to decide he didn’t want to look, that he’d just do this by feel alone, and his hand started to slip past the waistband. He hesitated, just shy of that erection, and looked up towards the guy’s face. He wasn’t sure what he was seeking. Approval? Encouragement? Reassurance? He didn’t expect to get any of those. So what did he want, exactly?

This person just kept touching him, smirk unchanging, actions unchanging, as if Shintaro hadn’t paused at all. If there actually had been some reaction Shintaro had wanted, it was clear he wasn’t getting it. So Shintaro fought down his rising panic and squeezed his eyes shut. He moved his hand those last few inches, and then his fingers wrapped around a cock that wasn’t his own.

Immediately a pleased hiss slipped past the stranger’s lips. Shintaro felt fabric against his wrist, but then a hand brushed his other arm to the side and before he could react the stranger was leaning down to collide lips against lips. Again there was no request, but this time there didn’t need to be. Shintaro’s mouth was already open for the stranger to push his tongue into, and _this_. This felt too much like something that wasn’t wrong at all. His hand awkwardly and hesitantly rubbed up and down along the erection moving smoothly against it, as if a contrast to the confident fingers that handled his own jerking, twitching hips.

For a moment, he considered holding this guy’s face against his. He wondered if he wanted something like that.

In the end he wound up just balling his free hand in this guy’s shirt, clenching tight as the rest of his body flooded with heat and he came in his pants yet again. The noise that escaped his lips was swallowed by the other, and even as he shuddered and jerked and lost most of whatever control he’d even had, the stranger continued to move against him, continued to use his hand and his mouth and his body.

He’d never seen this guy come before, had he?

Shintaro’s motions were sloppy, even sloppier than they’d been before. It felt more like the stranger was fucking his hand than that he was jerking him off, now. Maybe that was more comfortable. Teeth closed around his lower lip and the guy gave a low, animalistic noise as Shintaro felt his cock jump in his hand as his hips shuddered. It seemed this guy didn’t care about getting his own pants dirty, either.

“You can let go now if you’d like to.”

Shintaro blinked a couple times, as if to clear his head, before finally releasing his grip and pulling his hand from the guy’s pants. Though he’d avoided most of the mess, his hand was still a little sticky, and smelled of scents both familiar and yet stomach-turning. He looked at his fingers for a moment, and then dully lifted his gaze to look at the stranger. In response he received a wide grin.

“… You don’t make any sense.” He said it with a sigh as he slumped further into his bed, gaze drifting to the wall next to him. Not that he really tried to make sense of other people. Most of them were just… predictable, in a way. But not this guy. This guy defied everything Shintaro thought he knew. He just broke into Shintaro’s room and… kept pushing him. He was probably going to keep pushing him. Shintaro understood that much. But what that was going to look like… he had no idea.

… Well. This person was a guy, so he had an idea of what it might look like, eventually. It probably should have scared him, at least a bit, but he’d said that it wouldn’t happen today. To Shintaro, ‘today’ was a day that stretched out into eternity. If it never happened ‘today’, then such a thing would never happen at all. Maybe that was stupid, but such a thing had long since been ingrained into his mind, so it didn’t bother him even now.

“Next time will be even better.”

Lips pressed against his own once more and Shintaro let it happen for a couple seconds, before turning to the side and curling up a little. The stranger didn’t seem to a mind, and after a short pause, moved off of Shintaro’s bed and towards the hallway. He shut the door behind him as he left, and Shintaro let out a soft huff.


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re getting awfully familiar with that guy, aren’t you, Master?”

“Huh?” Shintaro turned to look at Ene, eyes narrowed, but the thought of not rising to her bait had already been forgotten the moment he started actually paying attention to her. “What are you talking about? I barely know him, and he just… keeps forcing himself on me, so it’s not like I’m choosing this or anything.”

“Have you told your mom or the police or anything like that?”

Shintaro stiffened. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell anyone, per se, it was just… well, his self-appointed job of guarding the house for his family, as if that were the reason for him closing himself up in his room all this time, fell apart if he admitted that the same person had been breaking in time after time. Even though no one had ever bought such an excuse in the first place. And how would his mom react to the fact that the virginity of her precious son had been stolen by a strange guy…?

“Well, ah, no, but—”

“And that package you purchased a couple hours ago.”

She pulled up his purchase history on one of the delivery sites, pointing out an item even though Shintaro was certain he’d deleted it from his history the moment after he’d gotten the confirmation email. It was a personal lubricant with the most innocuous looking label he could find, just in case somehow someone else were to stumble across such a thing in his room, knowing that he didn’t have a girlfriend or anything even close to that. Shintaro had deleted the confirmation email the moment it had arrived, too. “H-hey! I made sure I got rid of that thing, so how did you bring it back?!”

“Master _does_ know what this sort of thing is used for, right? When it’s two guys.”

“Maybe I’m not going to use it for that!”

“Master also had a really creepy grin on his face as he was picking this one out.”

“That I _know_ is a lie!!”

It wasn’t that he was looking forward to such a thing. It was just that he thought, if he was going to be forced into it by someone who was pretending he was doing it for both their sakes… he’d said that cooperating would make it hurt less, right? And, if such a thing never came to pass, Shintaro could just use it instead of hand lotion for himself, for a little while…

Actually, that had been how he had justified it to himself while purchasing it.

“Maybe we should look into getting you one of these, too!”

By the time he was focused on the screen again, she’d already pulled up a page featuring a colorful and wildly varying assortment of insertions, and Shintaro felt his face go bright red. “Wha—put those away! You didn’t search using my account, did you?! That’s not going to change the search suggestions, is it?! Ah…!”

Because, well. It wasn’t like his search history didn’t have some color to it, but mostly it was just electronics and soda, pet food, and things like that. On occasions that what he was looking for was more along perverted lines, it was always the sort of thing easily attributed to being a heterosexual male. Something like this could certainly change his demographic classification, if someone had defined such categories…

“Do you think you want thicker or thinner, Master?”

“I don’t want any of them!”

 

* * *

 

But then, that guy showed up again before it was delivered. Well, if he weren’t lying to Shintaro, he said that he wouldn’t be doing that sort of thing today, anyway, but it was still the sort of thing he wished he could have just in case.

Shintaro wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to him anymore. Resistance? Resistance just got him pushed down, and sometimes even held down painfully. Cooperation? That required him to… well, cooperate. And that was far more than Shintaro was comfortable with.

He didn’t _like_ this guy; honestly he freaked him out, a lot. The lubricant was something passive, something easy to do without thinking about it too hard. When he was actually staring into those bright yellow eyes and looking at that unnerving grin, it was so much harder to convince himself that it wasn’t a terrible idea to go along with things.

So, like cornered prey, like before, he froze where he sat.

“What’s that sort of look for? Surely when I said next time would be better, you realized that there _would_ be a next time.”

“I… I just…”

Had that been why? Because of that promise, because, with this guy, surely “better” could only mean…

He didn’t even register that this guy had already closed the distance between them until he had climbed right on top of him. Shintaro startled, but there was already an ass settled on his lap and legs to either side of him as if further boxing him in. Arms draped casually around his shoulders. He went stiff, trapped as he stared into those eyes, waiting for the kiss that he was sure was coming. But the seconds ticked by without one, though Shintaro didn’t for a moment believe it wouldn’t happen. It was just some sort of sick waiting game.

Finally he couldn’t hold this guy’s gaze anymore and instead glanced to the side, seeking out the one other thing he could think to look at. On his monitor, Ene was watching with a horrified look, but the moment Shintaro’s eyes met hers, her gaze darted away and she shrunk back a little. Ah, well. It’s not like she hadn’t been watching the rest of the time, so there was no particular reason he’d get mad at her now, right? Rather, she’d teased him about it, so why was she feeling guilty now in particular?

“Why, Shintaro Kisaragi, are you thinking of someone else when the two of us are together? Should I be getting jealous?” His view of the screen was cut off as suddenly the guy leaned over to get his face back in front of Shintaro’s. But those eyes darted towards the screen for just long enough to make Ene scurry away and instead peek out at the two of them from behind a browser window.

“Maybe if you didn’t look so creepy, I wouldn’t try to find other things to look at.”

He laughed at that, and Shintaro felt a spike of embarrassment, even though he wasn’t sure what he should be embarrassed about. But then he took one arm from Shintaro’s shoulders and instead used it to start pushing up his shirt. Shintaro tensed, knowing what was coming, but he had no real way to stop it as those fingers sought out the same spots as before. He winced and ducked his head to the side as heat spiked through his body, growing with each press of those practiced fingers.

This guy could definitely feel it. He was pressed far too close in Shintaro’s lap, so of course he could feel the stiffening of an erection against his ass. He traced lines that sent tingles through Shintaro’s body and brought small gasps and whimpers from his throat. Shintaro squirmed beneath him, but even though he probably, for once, had the leverage to push this guy off of him, he didn’t. Something about that seemed like it would be much more of a bad idea than it was good.

“Look at me.”

Shintaro kept his gaze on the floor, even as fingers continue to fuel the fire burning inside of him. They’d barely started, hell this guy had hardly done anything yet, and Shintaro already felt pretty horny. But that was exactly why he couldn’t let himself lift his gaze.

“Ignoring me _now_ , of all times, Shintaro? _Look at me.”_

He wasn’t ready for pain. But fingers suddenly pinched the bud of his hardened nipple, and Shintaro’s entire body jolted as an entirely different sort of heat shot through him and a shout slipped out before he could stop it. “Wh-what— _hell_ —!”

His gaze snapped upwards even as one of his hands grabbed this guy by the wrist and pulled his hand away from Shintaro’s chest. The triumphant look that overtook his expression really made Shintaro want to punch his face in.

On the other hand, he also was _really_ tempted to kiss him, but Shintaro was more than willing to blame that on stupid hormones.

But this guy probably knew that. He leaned in even closer, so there was just barely any space between them. They were so close that Shintaro thought he probably couldn’t even look away anymore. There were just the lips in front of him locking his gaze onto them.

Even as he didn’t want to, he squirmed a little, rubbing his cock against this guy’s ass in what he wanted to believe was entirely an accident. But then he shifted, grinding down against Shintaro, and a strained and frustrated noise escaped before Shintaro could swallow it back down.

How hard was he right now? Why the hell did this guy keep playing with him like this? Wasn’t there any way to escape this and _fuck those fingers pressing into his back—!_

It felt like a shower of sparks from his lips as the gap finally closed, though in the sudden haze Shintaro wasn’t sure whether the contact was his fault or this guy’s or maybe somehow both of them. He didn’t mean to moan, but he moaned, and the guy gave a softer response in kind. A tongue pushed into Shintaro’s mouth, and maybe that was the last nudge he needed. He grabbed this guy’s sides, fingers digging in, and pulled his body a little closer as he pushed his tongue into the other mouth in retaliation.

He honestly couldn’t tell if he wanted to kill him or fuck him at this point. Maybe both. Both sounded really tempting.

He dug into the guy’s hips with all the strength he had, pushing his own hips up a little as he pulled that ass down against his crotch so that he could grind against it. The guy seemed to be losing a bit of his control, possibly. His fingers on Shintaro’s back were much more unsteady now, not quite hitting the lines and ridges that had driven him crazy before, though it was still more than enough to keep Shintaro aroused. Their tongues tangled, an escalating conflict as Shintaro tried to reach everywhere inside this guy’s mouth as he could as if to claim it while trying to keep him from doing the same. They’d passed some point, some point where Shintaro stopped caring and now just wanted to watch that smug expression crumple as he shoved his cock into this guy.

“Mmmh, Shintaro…” It was murmured sloppily against his lips and around his tongue, and Shintaro felt fingers tightening on his shoulder.

In response, he gave a low growl, nipping that tongue when it tried to reenter his mouth because he was far too horny to consider not giving this guy any ideas. “Fuck you,” he murmured just as breathlessly, but then their lips were pressed together all over again. Teeth nipped him back, and if he were thinking about it he would have been surprised by the way the small shock of pain made his erection jump. But everything felt too hazy, too frustrating, too good. He let go of this guy’s hips to grab him by the hair. “Suck my dick.”

Immediately he felt fingers in his own hair, and this guy grinned. “I’ve already done you that favor. You’re going to return it, first.”

Then he was standing up, dragging Shintaro forwards in his chair, and even though Shintaro had his own grip on this guy it felt like all of a sudden he wasn’t in control of this situation at all. He was practically on the edge of his seat when this person put his foot on the chair next to him, and with a quick kick, shoved it right out from underneath Shintaro to have it roll across the room before colliding with the wall with a soft thud. Shintaro fell to the floor almost immediately, only slowed slightly by the hands in his hair sending a jolt of pain through his scalp and neck, his own hands desperately scrambling and failing to properly hold onto the body in front of him. “ _Ow,_ the hell—?!”

But he was already being dragged the rest of the way down onto his back, and this guy already had his oversized shirt pulled up with his pants open for Shintaro to see. He didn’t even have time to consider that this was the first time he’d seen another guy’s erection in person. Knees settled to either side of his head and the hand in his hair pushed him upwards the last distance needed. Shintaro wasn’t sure he’d even meant to leave his mouth open, but not a second later, it was no longer empty.

“Hmm-mmph!!”

“If you try to bite down I promise you that I’ll cut yours clean off.”

He probably meant it, too.

He’d been safer pinned down in the chair after all. Shintaro had known that, and yet his hormones had gotten the better of him. Maybe that was what he was suffering for right now. He was pinned down under this guy, and even as his fingers scrambled at his back, it felt like he was completely trapped. And there was already a cock in his mouth, already a hand holding his head down on it. Already the threat if he used what last bit of resistance he could.

“Suck it properly, now, Shintaro. I gave you my best, so won’t you do me the same kindness?”

He could hear the sneer in the voice and choked a little trying to make a retort. But after a couple of seconds, he slowly moved his head back and forth a little, bobbing a bit on the erection in his mouth as he tried to get used to it. It… actually wasn’t too bad, when he stopped thinking about it. The taste was a little weird, but as long as it wasn’t being pushed too far in, it was only uncomfortable because it was kind of large…

Maybe it was his imagination, or maybe the hand on the back of his head actually let up a little. But he continued to suck awkwardly, not doing much besides moving his mouth up and down along it. He didn’t really have any idea what he was doing, but this guy never really seemed to care about that before, did he? If he didn’t like it, he’d just choke Shintaro or go to town on his throat. So as long as he wasn’t doing either of those, Shintaro probably wasn’t doing particularly poorly.

But, it wasn’t that Shintaro wanted him to do those either, so he wrapped one arm awkwardly around the guy’s leg from underneath to give himself a bit better leverage. With his other hand he reached down to palm his erection, not quite jerking himself off but at least keeping his hand on his cock. Doing it made this feel a bit more voluntary, perhaps. A bit less like he wanted to throw up. At the very least, he was much more okay with giving a blowjob to another guy when he was horny.

“Ah, is this exciting you? Maybe I shouldn’t leave you to suffer just yet...”

The cock was gone from his mouth before he realized it, and this guy was moving above him. Shintaro’s head fell back to the floor and he just stared dully upwards for a moment, caught by surprise. After a second he closed his mouth and slowly rubbed his jaw. It had been barely any time at all and he was already sore…

His pants were suddenly pulled down to his knees and he startled. But before Shintaro could even get out the words to question it, a tongue ran up and down the length of his erection and he shivered. Fuck, he’d already forgotten how that had felt before. No wonder this guy had wanted to get in his mouth, too…

Actually, with their positions, this guy was far from done making Shintaro suck him off. Shintaro had seen this sort of arrangement in porn before. Once again he considered trying to escape before letting a part of him shout that down, letting himself think it was so much easier to just lay here and let it happen to him. And it was. It was uncomfortable, and sometimes it outright hurt, but it was easier than struggling. And sometimes— _usually_ , even—if he suffered through the worst of it, it felt really, really good.

The guy lowered himself, and Shintaro didn’t even question tipping his head back a little bit and obediently taking him back into his mouth. It was a bit worse this time; this time he pushed in just a bit farther than Shintaro could handle, making his throat flutter and causing him to cough. This time he couldn’t control the depth with his own head, just pinned against the floor and forced to accept however far down this guy moved. But then this guy’s mouth was around his own cock, seeking out the spots that Shintaro didn’t even have any idea about, and he was moaning around the intrusion not a second later. He received a moan in return, sending just enough vibrations through his cock to make him shudder.

Even with the mutual blowjob, Shintaro thought, he didn’t like this angle quite as much. Not that he’d liked staring at this guy’s crotch, but it had somehow felt less awkward than this, with his balls far too close to Shintaro’s eyes and nose. It was an uncomfortable smell. Disgusting, and… kind of arousing at the same time. He didn’t like it.

He could use his arms now, he realized, but he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. His instinct was to give a good twist to the balls right in front of his face, but he knew far better than to do that when there were teeth hovering most of the way down his own cock. They… also would be a tempting target for other things, and Shintaro couldn’t help but give another shiver as he imagined what it might feel like to handle them during a blowjob. What it might feel like to have his own handled while this guy was blowing him.

He wasn’t the only one with his hands free, he was reminded a moment later.

Maybe he should have anticipated something like it, but the finger unexpectedly pushing into his ass had him tensing up and giving a startled noise before he could stop it. He absolutely _hated_ the way this guy chuckled at that, and even worse was how the noise sent a pleasant tingle up his spine. Shintaro was sure he had some form of retaliation, something he could do to get even with this guy. Except then that finger found his prostate again, and in an instant all thoughts of retaliation were out the window.

His hips snapped upwards as he groaned around the cock in his mouth, and soon fingers were digging into his hip to hold him steady. He had no idea _how_ this guy was doing it, as each rub made his legs thrash and the only way he could tell he wasn’t thrusting up was feeling the floor pressed against his lower back. Wave after wave of pleasure surged through him, and he didn’t even realize that this guy had started moving his hips until he felt the cock hit straight into the back of his throat. Shintaro was so aroused that he barely even choked.

There wasn’t even a question of if he was being used right now. The mouth on his own erection and the finger in his ass were just distracting him, getting him to moan, getting him to melt so that he’d tip his head back and this guy could fuck his mouth unimpeded. His arms rested uselessly at his sides as he let him do it, allowing it to happen because it felt too good for him to care to stop it. It wasn’t even that he was getting rewarded for what he was doing. He was being placated.

Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to find it anywhere near this hot.

Shintaro came first, fingers scrambling for purchase on the smooth floor of his room as his hips gave one last vain attempt at thrusting upwards. His loud moan was lost as he gagged on the cock in his throat. But he was in the middle of an orgasm. He didn’t care. He probably should have, with the way this guy’s hips were starting to shudder and he probably was bruising Shintaro’s throat. But he pulled back just far enough for Shintaro’s moan to finally make it out, and that seemed to be enough for him.

Shintaro suddenly found liquid shooting down his throat and into his windpipe before he could stop it. His body reacted before his brain did, and with this guy still spilling straight down his throat Shintaro’s head tried to jerk to the side. But he couldn’t, still pinned in place, and even as liquid continued to leak in he let out a set of loud coughs, though his attempts at clearing his throat only made it worse.

He wasn’t even done with his orgasm yet. He’d spilled everything but heat continued to flood through him, even as he coughed hard enough to make his head spin, even as liquid continued to spill out of his mouth. He slowly went limp, feeling it slide along his face and down his cheeks to his neck, his hips twitching a little as the guy’s finger gave a few last rubs inside of him. The cock in his mouth finally pulled out, and Shintaro gave one last set of coughs that trailed into a soft groan.

Fuck, he was such a wreck.

“A bit rough at the end, but that was still quite wonderful. You never fail to disappoint me, do you, Shintaro?”

The finger finally removed itself from his ass, and he gave a small hiss at the unpleasant spike of heat from the friction as it left. “Fuck you. You made… a mess.”

‘A mess’? Really? This guy had brutally fucked his throat and Shintaro was complaining about where he’d gotten his jizz? He felt so out of it…

“I did. It’s such a delicious mess, too. Maybe I should clean it up.”

Teeth sunk into Shintaro’s neck, jolting him back to reality and causing him to give a startled shout. But a moment later those teeth were gone, replaced with a tongue that was licking along the crevices that liquid had spilled along, even off the side of his neck and all the way down to the floor. This guy got closer and closer to his mouth, and Shintaro found himself tensing up… but probably, there was no avoiding it. Soon all the foreign liquid on his skin had been completely replaced by saliva, and then this guy was putting his tongue back into Shintaro’s mouth. But he’d gotten his mess there, too, right? So it only made sense…

Hands slid up his chest to his neck and settled on his throat as he sucked in a quick breath, and that was when this guy pulled back to murmur against his lips. “Next time, maybe… I can hardly wait. You’re coming along so nicely.” Then those hands continued up to cup Shintaro’s jaw as he resumed kissing him.

Shintaro hated it. It felt too gentle, too nice, too much like something as insincere as an apology. He didn’t want this guy to pretend that he cared about him when he obviously didn’t. So even though his strength was failing by the moment, he reached up to grab the stupid collar thing this guy always had around his neck and pulled it down to press their lips together roughly and pushed his tongue upwards to get it in his mouth. He didn’t want this guy pretending there was anything but hormones involved in this relationship.

He got a chuckle in response, and a few moments later the guy pulled back and licked his lips. Shintaro felt a small pool of heat spring to life deep in his stomach, and he quickly turned away. He didn’t want this guy to turn him on, much less a second time. His grip on his clothes slowly let up.

He leaned in to quickly nibble Shintaro’s ear, but then he was standing up and straightening out his clothes as if it were the most normal thing in the world. As if Shintaro wasn’t still lying thoroughly exhausted on his floor with his pants down around his knees.

“Hey.” Shintaro’s voice cracked a little with even just the one word, and he could already feel his throat protest. Would it be suspicious if he made himself tea? He almost never drank tea, but even soda sounded like an unpleasant experience with his throat this raw. But that was something to consider later.

The guy paused and turned down towards him.

“So what’s your name, anyway?”

At least his voice had held steady for that part, though his question was still met with a grin. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a name to give you.”

Shintaro gave a low, frustrated groan. “Everyone has a name. Stop being an ass.”

But this guy still didn’t answer, and a moment later, he was making his way back out of Shintaro’s room once more. Shintaro was in no state to stop him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been mostly on hold while I focus on Adulthood Record for NaNoWriMo, but I already had this chapter mostly done so here's something to tide you over until that's finished. 
> 
> Also this is a beast of a chapter holy shit. Sorry not at all sorry.

This time, he dreamed of red. A warm summer afternoon, too hot, even as the sun was setting on them. He’d walked ahead to leave her behind, but now she was in front of him, her neck swathed in a red that blended into the background and made it look like her head wasn’t even on her shoulders.

There was a haze that made her look like she was floating, as if she were going to float away.

Didn’t she float away before? So why was she still near the ground right now?

He asked her something. She answered. There were words but he’d lost them the moment they escaped her mouth, and now he wasn’t even sure if there had been words at all. What did her voice sound like?

He couldn’t let himself forget her voice.

He had to remember what she sounded like.

What did she sound like, again?

 

* * *

 

Shintaro woke up sweating to find his sheets clenched in his hands and his pillow down by his feet. He was breathing heavily and he could feel his heart racing. A moment later the cool air of his room hit his skin, and goosebumps raised all over his arms and legs.

All that he could really remember of his dream was that it had been exceedingly red.

“Ah, Master, are you up already? Usually you sleep for another two and a half hours!”

His annoying virus said it the moment he sat upright, answering the question of why he still felt tired without his even needing to ask. His arms and legs felt heavy, and his throat was still sore. In the end, his mother had come home before he’d managed to clean himself up, so he never had the time to get something for his throat. A shower had helped, at least, but he figured his voice would probably still sound rough if he tried to speak.

Was it reasonable to ask for ice cream around now? Or was tea the better choice after all? It seemed like it was hot outside, but he wasn’t sure if ice cream would help his throat very much. But hot tea would probably sound very suspicious.

“Your package arrived while you were asleep. Your mom seemed _very_ interested in it!”

“What?! She opened it?! How could she do such a thing?! What about my privacy?! She’s never opened any of my things before…!” Though he scrambled to the door of his room and opened it to find a still sealed box outside of it, and he realized that laughter was echoing from his computer behind him. Ah… how many times had his voice cracked when he’d been reacting so frantically that he didn’t even stop to notice? Probably, at least four times, though it could have been more…

“Why, no wonder Master hasn’t spoken to me since that guy left! Ah, should I feel bad for laughing? But Master was making so many strange noises while he was shouting that I can’t help it…!”

He turned to find her rolling over as she continued to laugh, floating in circles as if suspended weightless. He wanted to be more mad at her than he was, but mostly he just felt tired. After all, he was getting more exercise than he had in such a long time, and on top of that he hadn’t slept for the full duration he usually did. It was exhausting.

He didn’t even open the box, just tossed it under his bed and lay down.

“Ah, Master—”

But he was already asleep again.

 

* * *

 

Shintaro gave a heavy sigh and closed out the window that had suddenly popped up in front of him.

“Ene, stop showing me gay porn.”

On his screen, she startled, though probably it was more at the fact that there had been any words at all than anything that he’d said in particular. “Master, you can speak! And you didn’t even make any funny sounds this time!”

He gave her a flat look for several moments, genuinely debating going back to giving her the silent treatment. After all, he’d already suffered enough to get to this point. When she’d realized he was deliberately staying quiet, she’d threatened to post an old lyrics file that she’d found among his folders. He’d responded by taking a nap.

When he woke up, he found that she’d actually gone through with it, and though it was embarrassing to see the way it was getting mocked, he closed out the window before it could become too much for his heart to handle, and put his headphones on without plugging them into anything to quiet her voice when she tried reading the comments aloud instead. Even though such a thing really hurt, at least the pain in his throat was physical. It would eventually go away, and he just had to suffer in the meantime.

And it had by now, mostly. So the only reason to remain silent would be to piss her off.

“Have you opened your box and tried it out yet?”

“Wouldn’t you know if I had?” Ah, it was so easy to forget when he didn’t have the pain to constantly remind him.

“I guess that’s true! You’d probably make a lot of disgusting noises, too. It would be the sort of thing where even if I tried to ignore it, Master would be so loud that I wouldn’t be able to help overhearing. Ah, how inconsiderate of you, Master, making a girl like me suffer for your twisted perversions!”

“I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“You’ve had sex with that guy multiple times. And you get louder each time. Except for last time, but it sounded like that was because he was keeping your mouth busy then. So probably when he finally puts it in your ass, you’re going to be so loud the neighbors will complain. That’s what I’m going to guess.”

“The neighbors only complain about _your_ noises when you turn my computer all the way up!”

“That’s a lie. You’ve totally gotten in trouble for shouting, too.”

“Only when I have to shout to get you to hear me!”

“You’re shouting right now.”

He opened his mouth to say something before realizing she was right, so after a moment’s pause he tried a different angle. “Besides, m-maybe it’s not even for _my_ ass at all. Did you ever think about that?”

… The look on her face said that she had definitely thought about it and decided such a thing was unlikely enough to be classified as impossible. Not that he hadn’t reached a similar conclusion. “There’s no way you’d be able to pull that off.”

“I… I would!” Somehow, it felt like he was getting himself in over his head for something or another, but it was so easy to say the words when there was nothing to hold him to it. Ene continued to give him an incredulous stare, though, and it only took a few seconds of that for him to feel like he should be backing down already.

“You know, I always wondered if you would get more or less perverted if you ever managed to trick some poor innocent girl into going out with you. He’s not really an innocent girl or anything like that, but I guess that guy helped answer my question anyway. Master, you are definitely a pervert, through and through.”

“Hey, I’m not the one responsible for this!”

“But you’re getting off to it, right? How creepy!”

“Not that something like you would understand, but just because I come doesn’t mean I like it! Human bodies can be aroused against their will… so, just because I come, I’m not really being satisfied, or that sort of thing…!” He was going somewhere with that, but already he seemed to be tripping over his words, and perhaps more vexing was the way that his pants seemed to be getting a little bit tighter the more he spoke. Ah, truly, bodies could be aroused against their wills…

“Hmmm? If that’s so, then why have you almost completely stopped watching porn?”

“Huh? What are you talking about? I haven’t…” Shintaro trailed off there, though, and this time the spike of heat that shot up his back had nothing to do with arousal. She was right again, he realized. He hadn’t even noticed it. Since that guy had first shown up, how many times had he so much as looked at porn of his own volition? Twice, or three times, maybe, but now that he thought about it, it was definitely only once that he’d jerked off to completion on his own, since the first time that guy had appeared…

But that was just because he was exhausted, wasn’t it? That guy tired him out, so in light of that, he didn’t have the energy to masturbate… would be a good excuse, except it had been long enough since last time that his throat had healed. That wasn’t too fast a process. There was enough time for him to regain whatever little energy he had and spend his time his own way…

That guy wasn’t showing up nearly often enough to fulfill Shintaro’s libido if what he was doing was _only_ as satisfying as masturbating.

That sort of realization was a little scary.

“I would have thought you’d appreciate me watching porn less…” he mumbled as he pulled up a familiar site. Soon a wide array of mostly or fully naked women flooded the screen, and Shintaro idly started scrolling through, looking for a video title to catch his attention. ‘Busty foreigner takes it from behind’? Pass. ‘Gang bang and loving it’? Better, but still not really what he was in the mood for.

“Master, how about this one?”

His gaze flicked to the one she was pointing at. ‘Loud girl silenced as she chokes on cock’ complete with a preview image of a woman with her mouth already full. He made a face before he could stop himself, and Ene grinned. Suddenly the video was loading, but Shintaro quickly hit the back button to return to the list before it started up. “Hey, don’t do that. You know, next time you complain about my porn habits I’m going to bring this up.”

His gaze drifted to the video underneath it. ‘Lesbians share double-ended dildo.’ Sure, that sounded good enough. Mostly he just wanted to keep his mind from wandering elsewhere.

“Ugh. You know they’re not even really lesbians, right?”

“Even if I didn’t, you’ve said that a thousand times. I still don’t care.”

He pulled his pants down a little while waiting for the video to load, and it began playing just as he was squirting some moisturizer on his hand. Ene crossed her arms but went silent, drifting to the side. He wasn’t sure if they had a weird compromise, or if she’d truly believed him the one time he’d told her he’d start jerking off to her if she closed another video on him, or what their tenuous arrangement around his masturbation was. Whatever it was, Ene gave him a judging stare but otherwise didn’t interrupt as the two women on the screen started to giggle and rub their toy between their sets of breasts, and Shintaro’s hand began to idly stroke.

It was just when one of the women was beginning to slide the toy into the other, causing her to make moans that were so enthusiastic they even _sounded_ fake, just when Shintaro started stroking himself in earnest, that suddenly his bedroom door swung open. He jolted and his head snapped to the side, eyes wide. The second woman began moaning in chorus with the first, but Shintaro was frozen stiff, gaze locked on a far-too-amused grin and the guy sporting it.

“Am I interrupting something, Shintaro?”

What was that one saying? About how anything that could go wrong, would? That was about how Shintaro felt. Not that it was the worst state this guy had seen him in, but there was certainly something vulnerable about being caught while masturbating. He couldn’t just continue. There was no way he could just continue. There wasn’t anywhere to hide, or anything like that. What could he…?

Shintaro’s gaze flicked to Ene, waiting quietly in the corner of the screen, an anxious look on her face. Then he turned back to this guy, hit his spacebar with the back of his hand to stop the video, and stood up from his seat.

His legs were shaking. His arms were shaking, even as he balled his hands into fists at his sides to try and steady them. He swallowed thickly and managed to speak with a voice that wavered but didn’t crack.

“Let me fuck your ass.”

For the first time that Shintaro could recall, the expression that stared back at him shifted to one of surprise. It looked strange on this guy, whom he’d only ever seen as smug, but somehow it wasn’t as if such an expression didn’t suit him.

But then a grin returned to his face, this one possibly even wider than before. “Alright.”

“… —Huh?”

Shintaro had not actually expected him to agree. Or, definitely, not so easily. He’d expected… what _had_ he expected? Not a fight, but maybe, just an insistence that no, Shintaro wouldn’t get to do that. Pressuring him away from it the way that he always did. Or ignoring it, as he’d done to Shintaro’s protests before.

“Are you going to make me repeat myself? Maybe I won’t, and you’ll have lost your chance. Wouldn’t that be a shame…?” He slid Shintaro’s door closed behind him and made a beckoning motion. He was taunting him, Shintaro realized. Or… testing him, maybe. Wondering if he’d actually follow through.

Shintaro wasn’t sure if he had the guts to do this, himself, but he’d got permission, at least. Unless he wanted to be forever mocked by this guy and possibly Ene both, there was no option for him but to throw himself in and hope that it didn’t go terribly.

He walked over to the guy and with his clean hand, grabbed his collar and pulled him down into a kiss. That stupid thing was really convenient, wasn’t it? And this guy let him do it. Shintaro pressed their lips together and pushed his tongue into this guy’s mouth, and with his hand still covered in moisturizer reached into his pants and grabbed his cock.

He was wider than Shintaro was, and just barely noticeably longer. The realization was accompanied by a small knot forming in the pit of Shintaro’s stomach. Wider meant his ass had to open more before he’d be able to take it. Or, before he’d take it, whether he was able to or not. Not this time, though, right? Right. Not ‘today’.

Today he was going to get inside this guy, instead.

A hand wrapped around his own cock, and in response Shintaro broke the kiss. “In my bed. _Now.”_ It was mostly to keep this guy from starting to stroke him, from starting to overwhelm him with his own body’s weakness. If he let him touch him like he’d done before, Shintaro would melt just as quickly. He couldn’t risk giving in like that this time. He was going to prove, if only to himself, that he could keep just the slightest bit of control here.

He couldn’t stop this guy from showing up. He couldn’t stop this guy from having sex with him. But, if he could pull this off, he could at least have a say in how that sex went.

Shintaro stepped back and pulled this guy by his collar, and together they slightly awkwardly stumbled towards his bed. He pushed this guy until the backs of his legs were pressed right up against the bed, and then Shintaro stepped on the toe of one of his boots.

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to take off your shoes when you enter someone’s home?”

He smirked. “I was never really one for _manners_ …” But he lifted his foot, leaving the boot behind.

Were they actually going to get naked this time? They hadn’t before, any of the other times, but all those times before hadn’t been… well, the full thing. Rather than wonder about it, Shintaro just shifted so he was standing on the toe of the other boot. Sure enough, off came that one, too.

With that, Shintaro shoved this guy backwards and he fell to his bed.

He paused for a moment, staring down at him. He looked far too comfortable sprawled out like that, grinning up at him, just waiting, just _daring_ him to make his next move.

_I’m actually going to fuck this guy?_

It sent a spike of fear though Shintaro. This guy… was dangerous, or at least, there was definitely something wrong about him. He was far more than someone like Shintaro could handle. All those times before, no matter what he’d done, this guy had just kept going, kept pushing him, kept overwhelming him. But, at the same time, he was definitely humoring him for now. Shintaro clenched his hands into fists.

_I’m actually going to fuck this guy._

He climbed on top of him and straddled him, having long since stopped caring that his erection was still hanging out, and grabbed that ridiculous oversized shirt and started pulling it up over his head. Actually, there wasn’t a single bit of this guy’s clothes that wasn’t ridiculous in some way. It was like some weird costume you’d buy at a cosplay store, if there were even such a character like it… Come to think about it, those yellow eyes were probably just contacts, too…

Well, not that it mattered, as Shintaro focused back in on him when that shirt (or… two shirts?) finally came off. Underneath them his chest looked normal enough, so at least, there wasn’t too much strange about this guy when it came down to it. Or at least, thinking that was a comfort that Shintaro needed to keep himself from backing out.

He ducked his head down and pressed his lips to the skin in front of him. He was under no illusion that he’d be able to do what that guy had done before. Shintaro had no idea how to handle someone else’s body, so the chance of him being able to drive this guy crazy with just fingers and tongue on his chest was almost zero. But Shintaro was at least going to give it a try, dammit.

He let his fingers drift along the skin, lightly pressing as he ran along whatever ridges or dips he found. He didn’t get any moans from this guy, obviously, but he did seem willing to humor Shintaro enough to make pleased murmurs as he shifted a little underneath him. He didn’t know what he was doing with his mouth… kissing, sort of, an awkward kissing where he was just sort of pressing his lips against skin and was a little too hesitant to actually _lick_ the guy but still kind of getting a taste of his skin here or there. It was mostly tasteless, with just a hint of sweat and… some weird taste that he couldn’t quite place. Like cleaning products, or at least giving that impression. Sterile.

“Under your right hand. Scratch there.”

Shintaro jumped a little at the sound of the voice, and looked upwards in surprise. But the same grin as always met his gaze, and after a moment he looked down to see the ridge along this guy’s side that his right hand had settled on. He hesitated another moment, but then shifted to using his nails and dragged his fingers along this guy’s skin.

It wasn’t quite a moan, but a pleased, wordless noise slipped from his lips in response. It sent a shiver through Shintaro, who ducked his head a little and then slowly pulled his fingers back up along the same spot. The guy made a noise again and shifted, and from where he was now looking Shintaro could tell that he was getting hard.

Even though he’d needed guidance, he’d at least found one spot, right?

It encouraged him, and soon his touches were less hesitant. He pressed harder as he felt along this guy’s body, though he still was just barely giving any kisses. But one particular rub, and he heard a soft _“ah—!”_ and then a slow, deliberate inhale from the person beneath him.

He moved on impulse. Shintaro rubbed that same spot again, more deliberate this time, and at the same time shifted and closed his teeth on a nipple.

“ _Mm—h!_ Nngh, good…” Fingers combed through Shintaro’s hair, startling him. For a moment he was sure that they were going to pull his head away, but they continued like that, gentle and soothing. The contrast was unnerving, and even though the gesture was a bit comforting that was precisely why Shintaro couldn’t relax.

_Just keep going._

He kept pressing, trying to disguise how desperately he was trying to find more places that would get this guy to react like that again. There was an expectation, now, maybe, and that scared him too. It was his first time actually actively participating, and now that he’d shown he could do _something_ this guy was probably expecting him to do more—

“Left hand.”

He hoped this guy was about to tell him to scratch again because that was exactly what he did almost immediately, dragging nails down skin and closing his teeth around his other nipple. Either way it seemed to work, as beneath him this person tossed his head back, pushed his chest up, and gave a loud noise that went straight to Shintaro’s cock. Oh shit, that was really hot.

… Now he could kind of understand why this guy handled him the way he did before.

Shintaro hesitantly pulled back to try to get a look at his face. That grin was gone for a moment, and his eyes were almost completely closed. But a moment later, they slid open again and darted down to meet Shintaro’s gaze, and his mouth once again twisted into a smirk.

Of course such a thing wouldn’t have lasted long.

He pulled his gaze away and down to this guy’s pants. Without stopping to think about it too much, he grabbed the waistband and started sliding it off, and soon the two of them were getting him the rest of the way out of them. Shintaro pushed them off the side of the bed, and when he turned back towards this guy it finally hit him that he was naked.

Well, mostly naked. He still had that collar on… how did it come off, anyway? And those headphones…

He reached up to pull them off, but Shintaro only managed a single tug before a hand quickly smacked his own, sudden enough to make him jump and let go. The guy was suddenly giving him an annoyed frown. The headphones were still solidly in place on his ears.

“Ah… sorry…?”

Why was he apologizing to this guy?

Just as suddenly, he was grinning again.

“Why, Shintaro, are you planning on staying dressed for this?”

He was deflecting. Shintaro’s eyes narrowed for a moment, but before this guy could offer to help, he pulled his own shirt off and threw it to the side. Just keep him from touching his chest. Keep him from touching Shintaro’s chest, and he could do this. Shintaro would buy the deflection all this guy wanted if it kept him from making him give in like all those times before.

That was good enough for now. Shintaro leaned in again and pressed a kiss to his navel, then let his gaze drift downwards. The last time he’d been faced with this cock, he’d choked on it so hard it left his throat raw. This time he was in control of the pace, and let his lips slide over the head and down a little further, not taking in more than he was comfortable with.

It tasted about the same before, with that weird edge to it, but also kind of like… lotion. Well, that wasn’t unexpected. Actually, that stuff was safe to ingest, right? Hopefully.

Shintaro wasn’t really sure what he was doing. Even though he had this guy’s dick in his mouth before, there was still something in him that hesitated and kept him from using his tongue. Though he knew that would help make this guy moan, it was something that he wasn’t mentally prepared for. Like some weird line in the sand, he couldn’t bring himself to step over it.

So instead, he used a hand to start slowly yet deliberately rubbing this guy’s balls, like he’d imagined last time. The angle made it hard for him to watch his expression anymore, but he heard a sharp gasp as the hips in front of him gave a shudder. Dammit, it was kind of disgusting how much that noise had turned him on. He continued to caress, trying to let his brain catch up despite the fog of arousal that was settling in heavier and heavier. Next was… actually getting inside his ass, right? Though the lube was still boxed up under Shintaro’s bed. On the one hand, he could stop and get it, but on the other, this guy had gotten fingers inside of him with just saliva before…

He pulled his mouth back and off the cock entirely, which was visibly harder than it had been when he’d started. He let go of the balls and used one hand to stroke slowly as a replacement. It took every nerve he had to look up and hold this guy’s gaze as he deliberately took two fingers into his mouth and began lavishing them with attention. This guy had done the same thing for him, right? Made a show out of drooling on his fingers. He felt the erection in his hand twitch, though this guy’s expression remained an even smirk. Still, Shintaro knew that he wasn’t as unaffected by the sight as he looked.

Shintaro was fine using his tongue on his fingers, though he still felt a little silly. It still didn’t seem real, maybe. Maybe he was just waiting for this guy to push him onto his back instead and make him put those fingers inside himself. Waiting for the whole thing to have been a trick.

Without thinking too much about it, or letting himself consider exactly what he was doing, he took his fingers from his mouth and slowly pushed one past the ring of muscle and into this guy’s ass.

It felt… weird. It didn’t go smoothly, that was for sure, and even with what he’d felt like had been copious saliva Shintaro could feel his finger rubbing against the skin in what was probably responsible for the slight burning sensation when he’d been on the other end of this. The guy’s face scrunched up a little, and he gave a long, low hiss. Around Shintaro’s fingers, the muscles occasionally relaxed for only a second or two before clenching up again.

“… You’re tight, too. Not so easy to relax, is it?”

For once, the flicker of a glare crossed this guy’s face. “Be q-quiet.”

He grabbed Shintaro by the hair, and before Shintaro could do anything his head was being pulled back towards that cock. He opened his mouth just in time, pretty sure that he would have just had his face smacked right into it if he hadn’t. But this guy didn’t pull him further down than the head, instead relaxing his grip and letting Shintaro do as he would.

Shintaro slowly bobbed his head a little, not really paying attention to the motion as he started to focus on feeling around inside instead. _That spot_ had to be in here somewhere, right? Since that much wasn’t specific to him, but was more a question of biology. If he’d had any idea that he was going to find himself in this situation, he wouldn’t have ignored the posts on the message board that were descriptions of this sort of thing, but really, there was no way that he’d ever imagined himself doing this…

He was dragged from his thoughts by a sharp noise and the hips in front of him shuddering. “Th-there. Just a little further in. Right there.”

Shintaro looked up in surprise, even taking his mouth away, to find that this guy was flushed. His expression was bordering on annoyed, but his eyes looked unfocused and his appearance seemed to have lost all its edge. Shintaro swallowed thickly, ignored his own blush, and pushed his finger in a little more and pressed again.

It felt almost like magic. The terrifying, overwhelming figure in front of him crumbled instantly as this guy grabbed Shintaro’s sheets, tossed his head back, and moaned. He looked so… vulnerable. And… really, really hot. Fuck, that was so sexy. Shintaro rubbed harder and he gave a guttural groan, one leg bending and hooking behind Shintaro’s back to pull his body closer, as if Shintaro were already inside this guy. It meant that Shintaro couldn’t quite reach for a blowjob anymore, though he wasn’t complaining about that. Instead he put his hand back on this guy’s cock and gave long, slow strokes, mostly paying attention to the muscles clenching near the base of his finger. Even with the reactions he was getting, this guy didn’t seem to be relaxing so readily. How had he gotten Shintaro to open up?

He rubbed again, this time a small circle, and received another moan for it. But still those muscles didn’t open, and Shintaro paused for a couple seconds, trying to come up with a better plan.

“… If you make me come before you actually fuck me, you’re going to lose your chance.”

“When you put it that way, it makes me want to stick it in without making sure it’ll fit first.” He’d snapped his reply in return before he’d even thought about it, and his face paled as he realized a moment later he kind of really wanted to take those words back. Even more so with the way a quick rush of air escaped this guy’s lips, immediately followed by an eerie laughter echoing around the room. Oddly enough, that made him the most relaxed Shintaro had felt so far.

“You’re welcome to try. But I _will_ return it in kind, Shintaro.”

“… Then laugh some more.” While he was still relaxed, Shintaro pushed a second finger in. This guy made a soft noise that sounded more like surprise than anything else, but he took the second finger anyway.

Shintaro wasn’t quite sure what to do from here. Maybe a third finger? He hadn’t gotten saliva on it, but he was sure he was a little bigger than two. Probably he should have just grabbed the lube after all. That would have made this whole thing easier. Would they have to start over if he did that? It had taken enough to just get a second finger in. But, at the least, this guy seemed to be relaxed more now.

“If I’d known that would get you to open up, I’d have just told a joke or something from the start.”

“You don’t have any good jokes, Shintaro.”

“And you’re terrible at bedroom talk when you have fingers in your ass, but I guess neither of us is perfect, huh?”

He hadn’t meant it to be funny, but this guy laughed anyway. Somehow, the sound was really unnerving. The sort of laughter he’d expect from someone insane. Well, not that he _didn’t_ think that this guy was insane, but he used the opportunity to get a third finger in anyway. It felt kind of bad that the only way he could get him to open up was to get him to laugh at Shintaro, but at least it was working.

The muscles weren’t nearly so tight around his fingers anymore, even though this was the most he’d put in so far. He didn’t think he could get a fourth in, though, unless this guy relaxed even more. Could he get him to do that? Was there something he could do to get more of that creepy laughter out of this guy, preferably without embarrassing himself in the process?

… Shintaro didn’t have any good jokes, after all. Hopefully three would be enough.

“I’m… putting it in.” He couldn’t believe he actually said that. He couldn’t believe he actually _got_ to say that.

Shintaro pulled his fingers out slowly, and then set to shuffling his pants the rest of the way off. He ignored the way this guy was watching him, the way he was grinning, the way he seemed to be _expecting_ something of Shintaro. Shouldn’t he know by now that Shintaro was just barely keeping up with him at best? So he had no idea why this guy had agreed to let him take the lead…

… Unless it really was just to see how badly he’d do.

Shintaro shifted forwards a little, only to realize that the angle wasn’t quite working out the way he’d expected. He had to… lift this guy up, somehow? He couldn’t get himself lower. Could Shintaro actually hold him up like he had to?

“Hey, uh… pass me the pillow.”

The guy gave an amused snort but complied, grabbing the pillow from behind him and passing it to Shintaro. Shintaro in turn awkwardly lifted him by the hips and slid it underneath him. … Well, that had helped a bit, at least. Shintaro still had to hold him up a little, but at least he was propped up a bit to help. He gave a long, slow breath, and then started to push himself inside this guy.

“Ngh—!! What the hell are you _doing_ down there?!”

He was maybe two centimeters in. Maybe. That was more than enough to feel from the tightness that the work he’d done was already undone. “I’m trying to stick my dick in an ass that was plenty loose enough ten seconds ago. What the hell does it _feel_ like I’m doing?”

“It _feels_ like you have no _idea_ what you’re doing!”

“I got you relaxed enough before! Maybe _you_ have no idea what you’re doing!”

“If _you_ can do this part, then _I_ can! This has to be your— _Ah!_... _Nhh…_ _Shit.”_ He cut off as Shintaro pushed himself another centimeter in, despite the way that he could feel this guy wasn’t ready for it. Maybe just because it would get him to shut up.

“Just… laugh at me again or something. That helped you before.” The guy glared at Shintaro for a moment, and Shintaro felt a shiver go up his spine. Ah, he was probably going to pay for forcing it in even that little bit, wasn’t he? At some point…

“Laugh, you say?” He clenched the sheets in his hands, then unclenched them. “Then, repeat this. And sound angry when you do it.” He lifted his chin a little and narrowed his eyes just a fraction. “‘Why are you doing all this? What did we ever do to you?’”

Shintaro paused for a moment, confused, but soon gave a soft sigh. Whatever. If this guy thought such a thing would work… “‘Sound angry,’ huh?” He cleared his throat a little, trying to muster up some conviction. Once he started speaking, though, the words seemed to come easily. “Why are you doing all this? What did we ever do to you?!”

His reaction seemed to be delayed a second, but then this guy’s anger and frustration seemed to dissipate as his mouth slowly twisted into a grin. It grew wider, and wider, until it almost seemed to split his face in half. He pressed a hand to his face, tipped his head back, and laughed. It was a laugh like none of the ones before it. It was twisted and insane, and though this guy had terrified Shintaro before, never, _never_ had he felt a chill go through his body quite like this. He almost didn’t notice the way that the muscles relaxed around him, too preoccupied with his renewed fear of the person in front of him.

What the hell was up with this guy?!

“Ah, perfect! That was completely perfect! Well done, Shintaro! I should have known you’d do it exactly right!”

He continued to laugh, and Shintaro hesitantly pushed himself the rest of the way in only because the body had opened up enough to handle him. It felt like he couldn’t even really enjoy this anymore. Something about this all was too unnerving, and even the fact that his cock was in this guy’s ass wasn’t helping. He was the one who was supposed to be doing the fucking, but it felt like he didn’t have any control over this guy at all.

“You haven’t started moving yet. Is that all you can do? If you can’t keep going, I’m sure I can take over…”

Shintaro found himself falling backwards before he even realized what was happening. Suddenly he was the one with his back on the bed, and this guy was sitting on top of him, his ass still engulfing him. He was still laughing. One of his hands went to Shintaro’s neck and gripped tightly.

His brain seemed to lag a moment, but then Shintaro grabbed this guy’s arm, even as he choked and gave a soft cough. He had no doubt that this guy would be able to kill him without any hesitation. Especially when he was laughing at him like that. When he was making such an ecstatic, terrifying expression.

“Wh-what’re… you…?! S- _stop…!”_

“Stop? Oh, _no_ , Shintaro Kisaragi. We’ve only just begun the fun!”

Was he trying to kill him? Certainly it felt that way. Shintaro could feel the oxygen in his lungs waning by the second. His heart thudded, his throat ached, and his chest burned, but no matter how much he tried to pull this guy’s hand from his neck, he didn’t budge. He thought he could maybe hear Ene making some noise, but what words there were, he couldn’t tell. She wouldn’t be able to save him, anyway. He wasn’t about to die just because he’d wanted to fuck this guy, right?

His head gave a small spin, and almost in response it seemed, the grip on his throat let up. He gave a desperate gasp, but no sooner had his lungs filled with oxygen than this guy’s hand tightened again. Was he… toying with him? Like a cat with a cornered mouse, maybe…

“Ah, your expression is so wonderful… How does it feel? Good yet?”

The guy sneered as Shintaro choked out a non-answer. How was this supposed to feel _good?_ He was… suffocating. Dying. And the grip on his neck was so painful…

But then, even as he struggled for air, on top of him this guy pushed himself up on Shintaro’s cock and then slid back down again. Even without oxygen, Shintaro found himself letting out a strained moan, as the motion sent a searing, pleasurable heat through his whole body. Okay, that. That _did_ feel good. That felt… far too good.

“As expected of Shintaro, you were exactly right. You fit much better now!”

This guy lifted himself again, and soon he was riding Shintaro’s cock, flooding Shintaro’s whole body with the most disgusting, amazing warmth. Even the pain from his throat and lungs seemed to melt away as the pleasure of… fucking this guy? Being fucked? He couldn’t even tell which it was supposed to be anymore… drowned out almost everything else.

What the hell. He hadn’t expected it to be anything like this.

Shintaro found himself able to breathe again and took another gasping inhale, but he only got halfway through before he was cut off again. His head was positively spinning now, and he could barely focus on the person in front of him, grinning down at him with an expression that could kill and riding his cock as if this whole thing had been his idea all along.

Had he come already? It felt like he’d come. His body was awash with heat that continued to crash through him in time with this guy’s movements. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t _breathe_ , couldn’t do anything except lie on his bed and choke out strangled moans as pleasure overloaded him, fingers weakly wrapped around this guy’s wrist. Every inch of his skin tingled pleasantly and painfully. Shintaro got halfway through another gasp before losing it, and in the haze it took him a few seconds to notice that this guy was kissing him, was pushing his tongue into his mouth. He was moaning, because Shintaro knew those sounds couldn’t be coming from himself. Not when he couldn’t breathe.

He was getting just enough oxygen to stay conscious, though there were definitely smudges of color obscuring the edges of his vision. This guy pulled back enough to let him gasp down another half a lungful of air before cutting him off. Shintaro was still in the grip of orgasm, still burning up from the inside, still overwhelmed…

Except it hadn’t been an orgasm. Such a thing was only made absolutely clear to him when he felt _another_ fire in him, adding to the first one, starting in his core and quickly spreading out to the very tips of his fingers and toes. It was a separate heat from the first, and this one. This one, he knew, meant he was just about at his limit. It quickly built to a peak and he hung there for a moment, dangling on the very edge, just waiting for it all to crash down around him.

Shintaro’s head tipped up as his eyes rolled back, and suddenly his body was trying to moan with all its might. Muscles that he’d forgotten he had spasmed and tensed, and in a brief instant of clarity he realized that he was actually coming this time, before the world dissolved into nothing around him. There was just pleasure, and he couldn’t see nor hear nor anything that wasn’t feeling the inferno of his orgasm consuming him. The laughter and the hand on his throat and the ass riding his cock and the smirk above him were all forgotten, all lost as he reached a peak far higher than any he’d reached before.

It was just a long blur of color and heat, taking away all sense of everything, even his own body.

He had no idea if it was seconds or hours later that it all melted away and reality slowly leaked back in on him. His lungs ached, as did his throat; his shoulder had a wet and red bruise on it and there was semen all over his torso, probably not even his own. His heart was pounding in his chest even now, and he’d never realized how wonderful air tasted before.

There was also the feeling of breath tickling his other shoulder.

He turned in surprise to find the guy was curled up against him, eyes half-closed as he slowly breathed in and out. He looked… almost peaceful like that. Almost like he wasn’t absolutely terrifying.

He hadn’t killed Shintaro, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t, or hadn’t come extremely close.

Was he asleep?

Shintaro shifted a little, and immediately those eyelids slid up and his yellow-eyed gaze flickered up to meet Shintaro’s. A grin, less scary than before but still unnerving, spread across his face. “Your body is so pleasantly warm.”

“You’re… still here.” All those times before he’d just walked right out, right? Surely he’d had the chance to do the same this time. And yet, to curl up against Shintaro like this…

“Is that an objection I hear?” He moved a little closer, resting his head on Shintaro’s chest. Even his headphones felt warm.

“If I say yes, are you going to stay longer just to be contrary?” This guy snorted out what sounded like a laugh, and Shintaro shifted uncomfortably. “You left all those times before. So it seems weird now.”

“I suppose I simply want to savor it. It’s not often that I do something for the first time.”

He tried and failed not to roll his eyes. “What, get your ass fucked?”

That got an actual laugh. It was almost gentle, except for the way it wasn’t gentle whatsoever. It was only in contrast to that terrifying noise from before that it sounded remotely mild at all. “Indeed. I think I’ll agree again if it comes up. You seemed to quite enjoy it, too…”

Shintaro’s gaze flickered away. “… wasn’t too bad until you grabbed my neck…”

“And then it was _amazing_ , wasn’t it? Ah, your expression as you struggled, and those noises—”

But both of them went quiet at the sound of a door closing downstairs. Shintaro froze stiff.

His mother? Or, maybe Momo… Either way, this was just about the worst situation—!!!

The guy sighed and pulled himself up from Shintaro’s bed. “Already? What time is it?” His gaze settled on Ene, who had been watching the two of them from the corner of the computer screen. She shivered, but when he didn’t turn away, she tentatively spoke up.

“Ah… 5:40PM…”

“5:40PM, July 21st… I suppose I haven’t needed today’s time for a while. 5:40PM.” He repeated it to himself as he set about putting his pants back on.

Shintaro propped himself up on his elbows and watched him, tentatively speaking up after a moment. “Hey… hey. You’re not… going down there, right? She’s not going to see you, right?!”

“Things will get quite inconvenient for you if either of them die here and now, so you’re correct,” he answered casually as he pulled his shirt back over his shoulders.

A chill shot straight through Shintaro. _Inconvenient._ That… that was the only reason this guy wouldn’t…?!

“I do so enjoy that expression on you…”

He leaned in to place a quick kiss on Shintaro’s terrified face, and Shintaro didn’t move away, didn’t budge, already frozen stiff. But then this guy was pulling his boots on, the last of his clothing, and he moved towards the window.

He peeked past the curtain and immediately more light flooded Shintaro’s room than he’d seen in ages. Shintaro winced and turned away, closing his eyes as the sunlight burned his retinas, and he was about to say something when this guy opened the curtain even wider. “H-hey, why are you—?!”

The window slid open, and a moment later, he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

“I can’t believe you went through with it! Ah, should I be congratulating you, Master?”

Shintaro fixed her with a flat look and gave a long sigh. “Won’t you do whatever you want and just ignore me anyway?”

She gave a mischievous grin, halfway between the expression of someone getting away with something and someone who had just been caught and still wasn’t guilty in the least. “Not at all! Actually, whatever you say, I’m more likely to do the opposite! So you see, I’m not ignoring you at all!”

Without really thinking, he responded, “Then congratulate me.”

The sound of streamer poppers suddenly echoed loudly from his computer, as the screen was covered by a gaudy background reminiscent of a birthday more than anything else, with the words “GOOD JOB IN FIRST FUCK” displayed in English in front of it. The noise startled Shintaro enough to get a shout out of him, and he nearly fell off his chair.

“Congratulations, Master! You did it; you did it!”

“H-hey, I thought you said you’d do the opposite!”

“Ah, but then telling you that meant you’d say the opposite of what you wanted, so I went with the opposite of _that_ instead!”

That was definitely the grin of someone who got away with something.

“But if I’d said _not_ to congratulate me, you’d go and do the opposite, saying something obnoxious like ‘I warned you I would’ or the like… So in the end, it’s not that you ignored me saying anything, just that you ignored which one it was I said…”

“As expected of you, Master! You figured it out exactly!”

So in that case, the proper choice had been to not answer at all, hadn’t it…?

He managed to close the window for the image, and immediately behind it appeared the video, still paused, that he’d been watching when that guy had interrupted him. For some reason, the sight made his stomach churn, and Shintaro quickly closed that as well.

Though, that didn’t seem to help very much at all, and soon he grabbed the garbage bin he kept near his desk just in time to feel an unpleasant lurching sensation. He gave a couple coughs, but in the end, nothing came out save for a little bit of saliva, and he slowly dropped the bin back where it went on the floor.

“… Master? What was that?” She sounded almost concerned again.

He paused, then sighed heavily. “No idea. It just… kind of happened.”

A delayed reaction? To his own overwhelming fear, maybe. Nerves about what he’d gotten himself into. Or the sensation of dying at the hands of someone who clearly wouldn’t hesitate, if he just had enough of a whim.

Shintaro gingerly touched his neck.

“There aren’t… bruises, or anything, right?”

Her eyes went wide and then she ducked her head away. “… No. No bruises.”

But how would she know if she weren’t even looking at him?

 

* * *

 

He dreamed of red again. Another dream that he couldn’t remember, aside from the color. He was absolutely certain that there was more to it. There had to be more to it, because he woke with a small jolt, and the distinct feeling that in the dream, he’d just hit something. Maybe he’d tripped. Or maybe he’d actually fallen much, much farther.

All he remembered was the red.

He shifted, and his foot met with resistance. He tried again, hoping to dislodge his blanket or whatever was catching it, but it worked no better a second time. Shintaro lifted his head sleepily, but an instant later he wasn’t asleep at all.

_“Wh-what the hell?!”_

How long had that guy been sitting near the foot of his bed?!

Why didn’t Ene wake him this time?

Oh shit, Shintaro had just been _kicking_ him…!

“Rise and shine, Shintaro.”

But there was no rising to be done, as this guy crawled from where he was up until he was face-to-face with Shintaro, pinning him down beneath him. Shintaro shifted uncomfortably, wanting to move away, but he was completely boxed in underneath him with no good direction to move to get out.

At least the guy had removed those boots of his again.

He leaned in to kiss him, but the moment their lips touched Shintaro jerked his head to the side. But then a hand roughly grabbed his hair and twisted so that his face was pointed upwards, and that kiss began again. It lasted only a few seconds this time before Shintaro shoved this guy’s face away, using all his strength to get just a few inches of space between them.

“D-don’t you ever… _quit_ …?” His breath hitched though as a knee pressed between his legs and started rubbing him through his blanket. Against his hands, this guy grinned.

Shintaro felt his blanket being pushed down and fingers brush against his exposed stomach. He quickly jerked his hands away from the guy’s face to press down his shirt with his arms and keep him from pushing it up and getting underneath it to his skin. Now he could see that grin, and Shintaro wanted to glare in return but was pretty sure he was far too distressed for that. The knee continued to rub his crotch and a hand patiently waited near his own, anticipating the moment he’d let it in to start touching his chest again.

Maybe this was a stalemate. If Shintaro held the line like this, maybe he’d just get off from this guy rubbing him, and then he’d leave him alone. He always left after Shintaro had his orgasm, right? So if he could just push himself to that point…

It took a second before he realized that the lips were back on his own. Ah, he couldn’t stop it if he kept his arms on his waist. He brought one hand up to try to push away again but no sooner did he make contact than this guy’s hand immediately moved for the opening left on the edge of his shirt, and Shintaro snapped his arm back down again to cut this guy off.

Kissing was definitely the safer option to suffer through.

“Do you hate when I make you feel good that much?” It was murmured against his lips, and then this guy redoubled his efforts in rubbing Shintaro’s crotch, as if making the point that Shintaro wasn’t doing much to stop him at all. And maybe he wasn’t. But that was something he knew how to handle, in a way. He could deal with friction on his cock, and the kissing wasn’t that pleasurable. The touches on his chest, on the other hand, were something that he was entirely unused to. It wasn’t the sort of thing where he could anticipate his own reactions.

He started making noises into the kiss, not quite moans but still sounds that were far too fervent. In response, this guy pressed more against him and used his grip on Shintaro’s hair to press him closer in return. It felt like their lips were being quite literally crushed together, but Shintaro’s tongue was in the guy’s mouth and he felt like he probably should care more than he did.

He started rolling his hips, and before too long he was humping himself on this guy’s leg almost as enthusiastically as it was rubbing him. His noises grew in volume as he felt the heat inside him build, and he clenched his fingers in his shirt in anticipation of the orgasm that was just a moment away.

_“Ah—! N-no, wait,_ don’t…!” … stop.

This guy had just completely stopped.

Shintaro felt the peak that he’d been so close to slipping away from him, and without even thinking he reached down to jerk himself off. His wrist was immediately pinned to the bed next to him.

Shit. _Shit_. He had been so close, so _close_ to coming, and this guy had to know, he _had_ to, he had to have stopped just then on purpose, just when Shintaro was so close to the edge that he didn’t even _know_ he could still back off at this point. His hips rolled up uselessly against nothing in a vain, weak attempt at getting back to his peak, and he ducked his head to the side, far too horny to keep looking at this guy who had become so thoroughly entangled in Shintaro’s mind with the very concept of sex.

He had had no idea what it was like to feel this desperate. _Fuck._

“You’re not getting off so easily this time. You have a favor to return, Shintaro.”

“What the hell kind of favor involves stringing me along like this…?!”

But that was another question he didn’t want the answer to. Soon his pants were down at his knees, and before he could think to protest, a finger had slipped inside him and was lightly rubbing at that spot inside of him, pulling a sharp gasp from him as his hips gave a shudder. Shintaro felt his orgasm build again, but almost immediately the guy stopped again, making it back off, and then started up again. Teasing. He was fucking teasing, and Shintaro gave a loud noise of frustration, trying and failing to rub himself back on that finger, to get himself off.

“F-fuck you… _fuck you…!”_ Wait… three fingers. That had definitely become three fingers already.

“Not this time. Not today.”

If he were thinking straight, this would have been the point he’d start to get worried again. But he wasn’t. He was just thinking about how badly he wanted to fuck himself on those fingers and just have his damn orgasm. Shintaro’s whole body started shaking with frustration as he kept trying to come, but this guy wouldn’t let him, just kept moving his fingers away from where Shintaro needed them right at the moment he needed them the most.

Fuck it, he’d handle this himself.

It was his off hand and Shintaro didn’t care as he grabbed himself. Suddenly a spike of painful heat shot through him as the fingers in his ass pulled out quickly and pinned his other wrist to the bed as well. Shintaro made another loud, frustrated groan and twisted against the grip holding him down, but made no progress in freeing himself.

“Ah, it seems I’m out of hands. What to do, what to do…?”

But he knew exactly what he was going to do. His knees slid under Shintaro’s legs, lifting his body upwards, and Shintaro suddenly realized exactly what he was going to do as well.

“W-wait. Wait…! You said… You said, not today. You said you wouldn’t today…!”

“Mm, I did, didn’t I? But, you know, that was so many days ago. It’s no longer that ‘today’, Shintaro Kisaragi.”

“N-no. It’s—today—” But hips were against his ass and before he realized it, he was stretched around something much more substantial than fingers. Shintaro inhaled sharply as a spike of pain shot through him. It… wasn’t as bad as he’d been fearing, though still much worse than he wanted. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched the sheets, and this guy started moving a little, sending more pain through him. “I-I… I have lube…!”

“And getting it would take so much time, wouldn’t it? Why, if you just let me work, it’ll stop hurting much sooner than you’d be able to use that stuff, anyway.”

He leaned over Shintaro, and then his hand was pressed to his neck again.

Immediately, Shintaro’s free hand was scrambling at this guy’s fingers. This time Shintaro had more fight in him, but even as he thrashed, this guy didn’t seem to move at all. He couldn’t pull himself off his cock and he couldn’t pry his fingers from his throat. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t have the breath to spare. The seconds ticked by and he could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears as his chest burned and his vision started to blur.

He felt the movement in his ass, the hot, burning friction as this guy pulled back and thrust in. It should have hurt. It was supposed to hurt. It _did_ hurt, almost… but not quite. There was something to it, something that he registered as what was supposed to feel like pain but it wasn’t a feeling that his body wanted to reject at all.

“Mmm, yes, I definitely prefer things this way.”

There was movement again, and this time he managed to moan as the grip on his throat let up for just long enough that he got out the noise and made a sharp gasp. But then it was back, so tight on his neck for one second, two…

This guy began thrusting in earnest, and Shintaro honestly had no idea if he’d moan or scream if given the chance. It didn’t feel good, and it didn’t hurt. It was just _overwhelming_. There was no other way to describe it. In consumed him, in the same way he’d been consumed by the feeling of this guy riding his cock.

He let out a choking noise and felt the grip let up again. “Are you still with me, Shintaro?”

Shintaro wasn’t sure if he should nod, or say something, or even respond at all, but his eyes darted down to meet this guy’s gaze and that was apparently all the response he needed. Those fingers tightened again.

He shifted, and on the next thrust, Shintaro almost didn’t even feel his orgasm build at all. This guy just dragged his cock against Shintaro’s prostate, and suddenly he was coming. He choked against the grip on his neck, but then another thrust dragged a strained moan out of him and the world faded out on him again.

Maybe it wasn’t quite as intense this time. He thought he could feel the sheets clenched in his hands and he could feel the repetitive rubbing of that spot inside of him, though it all blurred together in one long, continuous sensation. The pain of his neck and his lungs didn’t hurt, though he was sure he could feel it. He felt the way that hand kept letting up and gripping, controlling his oxygen even as he couldn’t control anything about his own body himself. The heat just kept rolling through him until it slowed to a stop, and over the ringing of his ears there might have been some noise that this guy made. Had he just come? Probably. That’s probably what it was.

The grip on his neck let up and didn’t return, and some period of time later, though Shintaro wasn’t sure how long it really was, the world around him started to regain its shapes, and then, its normal colors. He took a slow, deep breath. Savoring the feeling of air flowing into his lungs. With the world returning to him, he could feel all the pain of his body returning to him as well. The aching of his abused lungs. The unpleasant burning in his ass.

There was semen on his torso again. This time it would be his own, wouldn’t it?

He lifted his gaze just in time to see this guy opening the door to his room, and without even thinking, he blurted out, “Wait.”

It was weak, a little awkward with the way his voice cracked and sounded kind of hoarse, but the guy heard it and paused and turned back towards him with a grin. “Yes?”

Shintaro opened his mouth a couple times, trying to figure out why he’d felt like he’d wanted to stop this guy. Several seconds ticked by, and he knew he had to say something. Something… “… Tomorrow, use the lube.”

His grin widened. “Have it ready for me.”

Then he was gone.

That afternoon marked the beginning of when days started moving forwards again for Shintaro Kisaragi.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's completely coincidental that this chapter is the one I'm posting to celebrate 1000 hits. But yay, we reached 1000 hits! I appreciate every single one of you! <3 
> 
> In celebration, here, have the turning point of the story~!

She was standing over him, backlit by the sun so he could only see her shape. Leaning towards him, her hands clasped behind her back. He couldn’t see that she was smiling, but the tone of her voice indicated it clearly.

“Shintaro?”

It felt like a word delivered with no voice at all. He knew it was her voice; it _had_ to be her voice. And he knew it sounded cheerful. But the word had reached him without any sound behind it, somehow, in that way that made sense only in dreams.

“Shintaro!”

A little louder now, though somehow still without any sound at all. She drifted back a little bit, though she was still leaning towards him; she was still lit by the sun behind her. There was a noise—an actual noise, something that he couldn’t pin down, had it been himself instead?—and she took a breath.

“You won’t even wake up for me, Shintaro?”

That was her voice.

His eyes snapped open.

Her image was right in front of him.

Several seconds passed. He rubbed his eyes. The image didn’t go away. It was illuminated only by the computer screen, but it was unmistakable.

The image from his dreams.

“Ah…!”

She smiled. “You _did_ wake up after all! I’m glad.”

She was here.

She was here.

She was _right here_.

She was supposed to be… gone.

Dead.

… Wasn’t she?

“… A-ah…!!”

“Hmm? Is that all that you can say to me after all this time?”

Without a doubt, she was standing right here in his room.

He bolted upright, too high on a sudden rush of adrenalin to care about the pain that shot through his body at the motion.

“Y-you’re… here…!”

“Well, of course I’m here! After all, you’re really important to me, Shintaro!”

She was right here. That was her face, her figure, her voice. She was here. She was…

… alive?

“You’re… here…?”

“Hmm?” She seemed to pick up on the confusion in his voice and gave a gentle laugh. “Ah, it’s so like you to worry about the details, isn’t it? Does such a thing really matter?”

Did it matter? Of course it mattered! She was… here. She was _here_ , and he was breathing so fast that he felt like he wasn’t even getting any oxygen at all. Hadn’t this been all he’d wanted? Hadn’t this been why he trapped himself in one long, continuous day?

Had she only been waiting for him to move forwards again?

He reached out towards her, then hesitated. Afraid that it might break the illusion. What if he touched her and she disappeared again? What if he went back to being without her all over again? Could he really handle that _now_ , of all times?

“Shintaro!”

He jumped as his name danced past her lips once more. When she said it like that, it sounded so bright and cheerful. Like it was some sort of precious gift.

Like he was someone who mattered. She was the only one who ever made him feel like he’d truly mattered to someone. Back before, it had been a disgusting, stifling feeling that he wanted to push away and reject. Now, it was a disgusting, stifling feeling that he wanted to drown himself in. If her kindness was what squeezed all the air out of his lungs, he would gladly suffocate for her.

“Shintaro, are you listening?”

He realized that he’d gotten lost in his own thoughts, in the feeling of being smothered by her very presence. “Ah… yeah.”

She laughed. “You’re still not any good at lying, huh? But that’s no good! If you’re not listening, you might miss something important.”

Important? What could possibly be important at this point? She… she was here. That was all that was important now, wasn’t it? Nothing else mattered. Just… that she was back. She was here, as cheerful as ever.

She smiled brightly.

“How could you let me die?”

It was like he’d been shot, hitting him just as suddenly and stunning him in disbelief. A sharp, piercing pain sprung forth from his heart, spreading outwards until his whole body was shaking. He felt too hot and too cold at the same time.

It was as if the world fell apart around them, everything disappearing until it was just the two of them. She… died? That… it wasn’t wrong; she did die, but… she was here. He’d thought—hoped?—that it meant it was a mistake. If she was standing here, talking to him, then she didn’t die…

She was still smiling so brightly at him. How could she smile like this after asking something like that…?!

Tears slipped down his face, but before he could say or do anything, the door to his room suddenly opened, bringing the rest of the world around them back into clarity with a jolt. Both of them jumped and turned to find that guy strolling in and looking around casually, grinning, as if completely oblivious to the mood. Or maybe he was reveling in the mood that his presence had so abruptly ruined. Seconds ticked by without anyone saying a word. He glanced between the two of them, and even turning towards Shintaro’s computer, before finally breaking the silence.

“Ah, how wonderful it is to have a reunion of your group of four, isn’t it? But it’s such a hollow and false reunion. Why, the only one who is still true anymore is the only one who knows absolutely nothing at all…”

“What are _you_ doing here…?!” Shintaro couldn’t see her expression anymore, but her voice had suddenly gone icily cold, and seemingly in response Shintaro gave a shiver.

She continued to keep her gaze on that guy, even as he strode right past her, towards where Shintaro remained frozen on his bed. As she turned, her face came back into Shintaro’s view, and Shintaro realized with a start that she looked angry. No, angry didn’t do that expression of hers justice. He’d never seen such an infuriated look on her face before.

“Normally, that would be my line. But I know exactly what _you’re_ doing here.” He paused at the edge of Shintaro’s bed and placed his hand on the mattress. He threw Shintaro a smirk, then turned back to her. “This is _my_ prey. You should go fulfil your role elsewhere.”

Several moments passed in silence as her expression seeming to darken even further. Something about it seemed to get a quick fit of terrifying laughter out of this guy. She grit her teeth and clenched her hands into fists.

Her gaze drifted to Shintaro and got no gentler for it, still making such a cruel face even towards him. “You two deserve each other.” She practically spat the words.

She spun on her heels and headed for the door quickly enough that Shintaro couldn’t even think to react. But as if it had waited for the last possible second, a voice suddenly rang out from Shintaro’s computer, stopping her just before she stepped out. “Ayano, wait!!”

_Ayano_.

The name pierced his heart all over again.

Shintaro made a vaguely choked whimper, but whether she hadn’t heard it or was just ignoring it, she turned and smiled at Ene without acknowledging him. “I’m sorry. It seems I’m not welcome here.”

But then she walked out into the hallway, turned the corner, and disappeared all over again.

“A… A-Ayano…” With the image gone, it was like some sort of spell had been broken. Her name tumbled unsteadily from Shintaro’s lips, and suddenly he was awkwardly scrambling off of his bed towards his door. He had to go after her. He had to. If he didn’t go after her now, then…!

“You’re staying here.” An arm wrapped around his waist, and abruptly Shintaro was being dragged back to his bed. He let out a sob and struggled against that arm, but it held him back so easily. No matter how hard he tried or how much he twisted to get away, he gained no extra freedom for it. He glanced towards that guy briefly and had to look away again when he realized he was looking down at him with the slightly-amused expression of someone watching a child throw a temper tantrum. The expression that knew that Shintaro’s efforts were useless, because despite the fact that he still wanted so badly to chase after her, he couldn’t overcome this guy at all.

Finally in one last frantic attempt he reached towards his door, shouting in desperation as if maybe his voice could call her back. “Ayano! _Ayano!!”_

No matter how much he fought, no matter how much he yelled, her name spilling past his lips over and over again like water that had previously been held back by a freshly-broken dam, she didn’t reappear. He no longer cared about what was going on around him, the way that he was pulled into this guy’s lap, even to the way that fingers slid his pants down and pushed into his ass. All he could think of was getting her back, back here, so he could…

… Apologize? Beg for forgiveness? Thank her? What was it he wanted? Did he even know?

His ass slowly slid down around a stiff cock, and even as Shintaro let out a sob he loosened and took it easily. Maybe it hurt less this time. Maybe it was just that his heart hurt so much that he couldn’t even care about his body.

“Ayano…”

Pinned, penetrated, and held down in this guy’s lap, he finally stopped struggling, feeling completely defeated. It was all he could do to sadly call out her name, call it out like she would come back if he said it enough times. He’d spent so long wanting only to see her smile at him again, and now such a thing had been ripped from his grasp so quickly.

Just like last time.

One hand gripped his hip and lifted him up then lowered him again, sliding that cock most of the way out and back into him. His sob of her name was halfway consumed by a soft moan.

“You’re so preoccupied with a girl who died such a long time ago, Shintaro.”

“Shut the hell up…”

That hand lifted and lowered him again, and the other slid to his throat. “No. _You_ shut up.”

He managed to take a sharp breath, but suddenly that hand pressed, and he found that this guy’s lips and face were against the back of his neck and wedging him enough that he could squeeze Shintaro’s throat again. This guy really liked this sick perversion of his, didn’t he? But Shintaro didn’t even reach for his arm this time to try and stop him. There was no more fight left in him.

The world leaked away bit by bit. They moved slowly this time, moving Shintaro’s whole body up and down so he could fuck him. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks and he twitched and shook with sobs, though the noises themselves could only make it out during those brief moments when the grip on his throat let up. He felt so lightheaded already, and when he let his head tip back, resting it against this guy and giving him even more access to his throat, he felt teeth close roughly around the skin of his neck. It sent a spark of heat through him, and he shook with another sob.

“Stroke yourself while I fuck you.”

Shintaro didn’t even think about whether or not to obey. He just pushed his pants a little further down and began running his hand up and down his own cock without question. The back of his neck was bitten in a different spot. A weak moan forced its way out even past the grip on his neck, and beneath him, this guy gave a small shiver.

“You make such delightful noises…”

Though it was still slower than all the times before, the pace picked up. Shintaro continued to jerk himself off in an unsteady rhythm, letting this guy move his whole body and fuck him. His vision completely melted into a swirl of colors, just leaving the heat in his ass and the waves of pleasure from his hand and the spikes of pain from teeth and fingers and the slight itch as tears continued to roll down his face.

He was sure he would have shouted her name if he’d had the ability, but all he could do was choke out a stifled, wordless noise as he came. He continued to weakly sob through his orgasm, even as everything faded out on him. The heavy weight that he remembered had caused him to close himself off in his room for so long had come back, settling on his heart and body and completely crushing him. Heat flooded through him, hot enough that it felt like it might just burn out every nerve he had, but the one feeling it couldn’t erase was that all-consuming weight.

Shintaro woke up suddenly. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. A moment later he bolted upright. “A-Ayano?!”

… No. He was alone. Even that guy seemed to have already taken his leave, but Shintaro could feel liquid trickling along his ass to verify that such a thing hadn’t been a dream.

If it hadn’t been a dream, then that meant that she had also…!

“… You passed out, so that guy left.” Ah, ‘alone’ was relative, wasn’t it? It seemed that annoying virus was still around, too. He turned to her to find that she was sitting quietly on his screen, her gaze downcast.

“Ayano…” At the sound of her name, Ene seemed to wince. “You… saw her, too, right? That wasn’t a dream?”

“Well, I can’t say whether or not I believe it wasn’t a dream, but… I did see her, I think.”

“Then… maybe she’ll come back again…!” He stood up suddenly and moved towards the hallway, but he reached the closed door and suddenly found himself frozen in place. What was he thinking? Where would he even go? He had no idea how to chase her, what direction she might have left in or where she’d end up. She was probably long gone by now, too. But… if she were to come back here later, at a time when they wouldn’t be interrupted by that stupid guy…!

“Ah—! Master!”

He turned back to Ene with a flat glare. “What is it?”

“There are bruises now.” She lifted a finger and pointed at him, as if he could tell where she was indicating with a gesture as vague as that. “On the back of your neck…”

The back of his neck, huh…? Where he’d been biting him, as he’d strangled him this time. Shintaro automatically raised his hand and put it against his skin, and maybe there was an extra little twinge of pain as he applied pressure. Or maybe that was just a trick of his own mind, convinced that such a thing made enough sense that it didn’t even need to be real in order to feel it.

So there were marks this time.

For a moment he thought that it didn’t matter, but then he realized, if someone saw it when he came out of his room to use the bathroom, or to grab food from the kitchen… Well, it wasn’t the sort of thing where it was alright if his mother or nosy sister saw them.

He couldn’t have them questioning him about them. He couldn’t have them knowing about this. If they became too ‘inconvenient’ to that guy…

Shintaro moved to his dresser and rooted beneath his t-shirts to grab the first thing that seemed to work. He’d never needed to think about covering that part of himself before, and he hadn’t had to wear anything but his usual clothes for so long, so it took a while before he found something that wouldn’t be too suspicious to wear around the house and would still cover. What he finally pulled out was a black hoodie, where even when the hood was down, the fabric did a good job of hiding the back of his neck. He pulled the garment over his shoulders and then brought his hand up again, verifying that it covered the skin there.

“Does that hide them?”

“Ah… yeah, I think so. As long as you don’t squish it down too much or anything…”

He gave a soft huff. “Well, it’ll have to do.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three conventions in two months + catching the winter sick = slooow fanfic writing. But I managed to drag myself through this chapter! Hopefully I'll get back into more regular updates around April or so.

“Master, I…”

Ene trailed off there, and after a moment of her not continuing, Shintaro’s gaze flicked towards her. “What?... Out with it, already.”

“Ah! I… I mean… I think you should maybe try going outside again.”

“Huh? What’s with you all of a sudden?” He gave a slight glare, and she started fidgeting a little in response. “Bringing up something like that… It’s not like I have any need to, you know?”

“Well, ah, that’s true, I guess…” She continued to fidget. “But, I think the fresh air might be good for you! You haven’t been in the sunlight much, either. And, maybe talking to people, for real, and being not… here…”

She trailed off as she realized he’d turned away from her, and once she went quiet he gave a huff through his nose. “Like I said, I don’t need any of that stuff.”

“You don’t need it, but it’s good for you! You should, you should!”

“What the hell is with you? I thought we’d established this already! I’m not going out, so that’s the end of it!”

He expected her to yell in return, but when the reply came, it was mumbled and slightly hard to hear. “A few days ago… you said ‘tomorrow’. For as long as I’ve been here, you’ve never said anything like ‘tomorrow’, or ‘yesterday’, or ‘next week’, or words like that… So, I thought, maybe something had changed.”

… Ah. So she’d picked up on that. She was obnoxiously more perceptive than he’d given her credit for. “Just because I used a simple word like that doesn’t mean that anything has changed.”

“If you go outside, _he_ won’t be able to keep finding you here.”

That gave him pause, gaze flicking back to her, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. Shintaro suddenly realized he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that sort of thing. Maybe that uncertainty was something he should be worried about. “… I don’t mind it much. I don’t want to miss her if Ayano comes back here to find me again.”

Ene winced again. “Like I said, I think it’s better for you to start going outside—”

“I don’t need your concern!” he snapped, and she startled. After a moment her surprise faded into something that seemed much more upset, but if she had more to say, she didn’t. “What the hell have _you_ ever done for me, anyway? You never changed anything.”

“I-I only…!”

She seemed to want to say more, but before she could gather her thoughts, Shintaro continued, his voice still raised. “Even _that_ weirdo’s been more help. At least _he_ got things moving again, so that Ayano could show up here.”

Ene gave a soft but sharp gasp, eyes going wide. “Do you… really think that’s why we saw that…?” She still couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“Of course it is. Why else would she have taken until now?”

“I… I don’t know, but…!”

Her voice broke, and she seemed nearly on the verge of tears. But before there was any chance for her to cry or any sort of thing like that, Shintaro’s door slid open.

Shintaro felt his heart leap in his chest, and his gaze snapped to it with a look that was almost hopeful.

But rather than _her_ , it was that guy’s figure that met his gaze after all. His eyes narrowed, and in response, he received a chuckle.

“Master…” Ene said it softly, tentatively, but Shintaro had already stood up, was already heading towards his bed. He knelt down and dug around underneath it, and when he straightened up again, he was holding an unopened delivery box. Without even looking up, he started opening it, and soon he was pulling the plastic off of the white tube that had been packed within. Finally he walked right up to the guy and all but shoved it into his hands.

“I _said_ , use lube.”

He was grinning at him. Well, not that that was strange. He _always_ seemed to be grinning at Shintaro. But maybe Shintaro had become familiar enough with him, or maybe it was just that obvious, but as he looked over Shintaro this time, taking the lubricant in hand as demanded, there seemed to be more to it than usual. Shintaro’s eyes narrowed.

“What?”

“I _did_ tell you to have it ready.” That wasn’t what it was, but then he grabbed a fistful of Shintaro’s hoodie and pulled him into a kiss, and with the way it all but instantly got Shintaro hard, he wasn’t going to complain. He kissed back, pouring his anger and frustration in it, biting lips and tongue and getting bit in return, but it didn’t take long before his energy faded and soon the two of them were just kissing. Maybe pressed together a bit more roughly than was normal, but Shintaro really had no idea what passed for ‘normal’ anyway. All he knew was feeling the warmth of lips against his own was making his pants feel more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Suddenly they were moving, and Shintaro wasn’t sure whether he was dragging or being shoved or both but a couple seconds later the two of them collapsed into a tangle of limbs on the bed and immediately started scrambling for each other’s clothes. This guy already had Shintaro’s pants off when Shintaro was just starting to get him out of his second boot, and then his attempts got much, much harder as fingers started reaching underneath his hoodie and shirt, pressing lines along his stomach and chest. It didn’t take long before he just gave up, unable to manage much more than clenching the sheets in his hands and writhing as he fought to hold down sharp gasps as this guy continued to make his erection harder and harder. At some point when he wasn’t paying attention, that boot disappeared anyway, but he didn’t notice until the guy leaned in past his face, pulled the collar of his hoodie to the side, and bit some of the freshly-revealed skin.

Shintaro jolted and gave a soft yell that didn’t sound pained at all.

“Since you went through the trouble of getting some for me…”

He looked down to see the guy was squeezing some of the lubricant out onto one hand, and Shintaro lifted up one leg automatically. It made that guy smirk, and a moment later he was pushing a finger into Shintaro’s ass.

Smooth. It went in so easily. Was this what it was like to do it with a girl? To have it be so wet like this, and not need all the saliva, or the slowness… This guy’s finger—two fingers, just sliding in and out of him easily, already pulling more noises from him as his hips twitched. At one point, they just barely grazed that spot inside of Shintaro, and he all but yelped, a shudder going through his whole body. Those yellow eyes flicked up, towards his… face…?

“H-hey.”

It was ever so slight, but Shintaro definitely noticed the way those eyes lifted a fraction more at his word, and he narrowed his gaze. So he’d actually been eyeing Shintaro’s neck, after all…

“Can’t we go one round without you strangling me, huh?”

The guy gave a fake pout, but his eyes were still giving away his grin. “Mmm, but it’ll be much less fun for _both_ of us…”

But he didn’t anyway, at least yet, instead leaning in and giving another bite along Shintaro’s collarbone, pulling a shiver and a soft gasp from him. “You say that, but I have to wonder if you even think of me at all. I never asked you to strangle me, you know.”

“You never asked me for a lot of things, Shintaro.” He just barely brushed that spot again, and the noise that slipped from Shintaro’s throat was nothing if not undignified. “But after today, you’ll be begging for my hands around your neck. Once you see what it’s like without it…”

“I-I doubt that. And st—!!” Shintaro gave another shudder, hips jerking upwards as he instinctively tried to get away from the touch that was too feather-light on such a sensitive spot. “Stop that! If you’re gonna keep touching it, at least fuck me properly, dammit!”

He laughed. “My, my, so demanding. Keep that sort of thing up, and I might decide to stop humoring you, you know.” But he pulled his fingers out, and with just one hand managed to grab Shintaro by the leg and completely flip him onto his stomach. Shintaro gave a startled noise, and once he settled, glared over his shoulder. Still, he propped his hips up to offer himself to the guy anyway.

With the lubricant, he went in so easily. The hot, burning pain that Shintaro was so used to was nowhere to be found, just slick skin sliding against slick skin and suddenly this guy was buried all the way inside of him. He gasped, shuddered, shifted his hips a little to try to get a better angle and felt a hand press his lower back to keep him where he was. Shintaro clenched his fingers into the sheets and made a frustrated noise. “C’mon, don’t—nngh…” But he was cut off as this guy pulled back and slid in again, and even if the angle wasn’t right to hit his prostate in the way he wanted, it still sent a delicious heat racing through his body.

“Are you going to protest every little thing I do? Maybe I’ll strangle you just to shut you up, after all.”

He grabbed Shintaro by the back of his neck, but it wasn’t a tight grip. Just enough to hold his head down and keep him in place as he started moving, taking a slow and leisurely pace that still made every nerve in Shintaro’s body heat up. Shintaro wanted to push his hips back into it, but that hand stayed on his lower back, keeping him still. He continued to throw a glare over his shoulder instead, but didn’t say anything.

He knew that hand on his neck could squeeze much, much tighter than it was.

This guy fucked him like that, slowly, holding him down, not letting him move or respond or change the angle, until Shintaro was sure his whole body was on fire. His face felt hotter than any flush of embarrassment he’d ever had, and his fingertips and toes were tingling. And despite all that, despite how sensitive he felt, he was somehow quite certain that his orgasm was still a good deal further away.

“What do you think? If you couldn’t breathe, this much would have been enough to make you come already. Or maybe you enjoy being aroused with no release?” He ran his cock along the inside of Shintaro’s ass again, and Shintaro groaned out a frustrated noise.

“Better than choking…” Unable to push his hips back at all, he opted instead to squeeze his ass a little.

It got a soft chuckle out of this guy. “Is it, now?”

His hands left Shintaro’s back and neck, but before Shintaro could do anything, this guy grabbed the back of his hoodie, leaned in, and roughly closed teeth around skin on the back of his neck. Shintaro yelped and shuddered, but he felt the way the cock in his ass pressed against his prostate. If he could just get this guy to move a little…

He bit again, and this time Shintaro nearly moaned before catching himself, but didn’t catch his protests in time. “Don’t take it as an excuse to leave _more_ marks, bastard…!”

Another laugh sent a shiver up his spine, but then this guy gave another bite—harder than all the previous—pulled out, and thrust back in. The way it dragged his cock against Shintaro’s prostate was absolutely wonderful, pulling a loud, honest, nearly desperate moan from Shintaro as the pain in his neck completely melted away and his orgasm immediately began to build. Fuck, that felt way too good.

Another bite, another thrust, and this time Shintaro snapped his hips back in response, driving the two of them together and growing the tight coil of heat inside of him. There. That. If he could just get that a few more times, it’d be enough. “Fine. Bite. Whatever. Just— _fuck_ —right there. R-right there.”

This guy seemed to actually listen for once, picking up a fast pace that sent the most delicious waves of heat through Shintaro’s body. Shintaro couldn’t care quite enough to stop the noises that tumbled past his lips, and he soon lost track of how many times this guy bit him; it didn’t matter anyway, it didn’t matter because he was deliberately doing it so that the hoodie Shintaro was wearing would still conceal all of them. He could have torn Shintaro’s skin off, branded him, done anything, anything at all right now because Shintaro wrapped a hand around his cock and didn’t even have to stroke before he went tense and came.

He pressed his face into the sheets to muffle his noises, but it only took seconds before he felt fingers grab his hair and pull his head back, forcing him to let out the whimpers and moans that slipped out as this guy continued to fuck him through orgasm.

It felt… different. He didn’t want to admit that he could tell, but the contrast was so stark that he couldn’t really help it. It was the same heat flowing through his body, consuming every nerve and muscle. But somehow, this time, it only felt like that heat was submerging him in itself. Wrapped around him, holding him, like a burning embrace. Those times before, it had been much stronger. Much more violent. A heat that pulled him in and dragged him far below the surface, so that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever emerge from it to breathe ever again. He could think through it this time; he could _breathe_ through it. It was the same and yet it was so different, and even the repeated waves of heat weren’t quite enough to push it to the same level as before.

Teeth dug into his shoulder and he yelped. Against him, this guy snapped his hips forward and shuddered, probably reaching his own orgasm. Despite himself, Shintaro gave a small, disgusted shiver as he imagined the liquid that was now flowing into his ass. It felt like so long since the last time he’d been conscious enough to even think about it.

This was maybe the sort of fucking that two people who cared about each other might do. The kind that gave him this enveloping warmth, holding him closely and letting his orgasm gently bathe him. This wasn’t them. This didn’t suit them, this ease with which they had sex this time. This wasn’t their relationship. All those times before, when it had been something dragged out of Shintaro, forced upon him, crushing him with its intensity… that was much more like what the two of them meant to each other. This random person, who came back time and time again to take control, and Shintaro, who waited and obeyed of his volition or not. In his sadism, this guy inflicted it on Shintaro. In his apathy, Shintaro accepted it with no real resistance.

It had come to be something that Shintaro didn’t care about. In that way, he accepted it, not exactly as something welcome but as a fact of life that he didn’t bother trying to change.

This guy pulled out of him and headed towards Shintaro’s computer. Ene gave a startled noise and Shintaro glanced over, but all that the guy did was grab a tissue from next to Shintaro’s computer and give himself a quick wipe clean, before zipping his pants back up. He didn’t so much as glance back, just walked out to leave Shintaro to bury his face in his pillow. If he lowered his hips, it was probably going to leak out and force him to wash his sheets again. Actually, since he’d come on them himself, probably he’d have to do that anyway…

Dramatic shift or not, he was all too quick to settle back into the routine he was presented with.


	9. Chapter 9

“… With the carbon dioxide accumulating, dizziness, stupor, and increased feelings of delight all boost the excitement of masturbation…”

“You don’t have to read it out loud, you know. And, earlier, you misread ‘carotid artery’—”

“Argh, I was never good at reading complicated things like that! But putting that aside, Master!” Ene spun around, putting her back to the text and pointing at him. “Why are you reading about stuff like this now, huh?! This page has warnings all over it! Even in the opening paragraph it said it could be lethal or super-dangerous!”

He glanced to her for a moment, then went back to the page behind her. “‘Why’, huh…? Not that something like you would get it even if I explained it.” But then she made that face that seemed to want to do some sort of permanent damage to his files or reputation, so he quickly continued after a short pause, “I’m trying to understand it. Since it’s not exactly the sort of thing people will tell you about in school, or something like that…”

“So you’re saying, in other words… it felt different like he said it would, after all…?”

He glanced towards her again, annoyed, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. After a couple seconds, he went back to the text. “You’re reading this, too. There’s physiological cause, so it’s not like I’m just some weird pervert, or anything…”

“Master is a weird pervert, though.”

The way she said it caught him for a second. Normally, or in their relationship that had been established up until this point, such a thing would have been said loudly, with conviction. A brazen and overblown and likely successful attempt to rile him up. But this time the words slipped from her mouth like an afterthought, like something she was saying not because she wanted to but because she was expected to. Even then, it no longer caused him any sort of frustration.

Definitely, something had changed between them. Maybe it was because Ayano had come back. Maybe it had shifted when this guy had started showing up.

“Are you going to ask him to do it again?”

He didn’t answer her.

 

* * *

 

It was four days later that the guy appeared again, and Shintaro at least understood such a thing on an academic level even though he was still trying to recover his innate sense of what a ‘day’ meant in the first place. Four days later, without fanfare, without interrupting his masturbation or some conversation between himself and Ene or even a post he was writing on the boards. Shintaro’s gaze immediately snapped to the door when it slid open, but once again it wasn’t the person that he so desperately wanted to see who was framed in the doorway. The painful, sickening hope that sprung up in his heart was once again immediately crushed, and soon replaced with a much more primal feeling clawing at his insides, making the tips of his fingers tingle ever so slightly and pooling heat in between his legs. He shifted on the bed where he lay, his previous dilemma of whether to get up or roll over and go back to sleep completely irrelevant now.

He probably should be more ashamed that there was already a visible tent in his pants, but Ene could make fun of him for it later.

A few seconds later this guy was leaning over him, pressing him into the bed as he kissed him, his fist clenched in the front of Shintaro’s hoodie though he wasn’t pulling it off just yet. For his part, Shintaro grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down against his lips. But then a hand pressed between his legs and a pleased noise slipped out into the space shared by their mouths before he could stop it. He was pretty sure this guy grinned at that, but he didn’t actually care right now.

“Under the bed again.” He muttered it when a quick pause presented itself before pulling the two of them back together in the kiss.

It was a couple seconds later that the guy pulled back a little to respond. “Inconvenient…” and then his lips were back on Shintaro’s as he gave a more deliberate rub between his legs. Shintaro’s annoyed noise got swallowed up in the soft groan that welled up in his throat, but a moment later he jerked his head to the side to break the kiss for real.

“F-fine. I’ll get it myself.”

He dragged himself away and the person above him let him as he shifted so that he could reach under his bed. The tube of lubricant was sitting right where he’d left it, just far enough underneath that it couldn’t be seen from the doorway of his room but close enough that he could still grab it from a position like this. He pushed himself back up, and a moment later a hand on his shoulder threw him back onto his back on the bed and this guy resumed kissing him with even more aggression than before. Shintaro wanted to be annoyed at it and couldn’t, so he settled at being annoyed at himself for getting so turned on by it. Teeth closed on his lower lip and he gasped, his hips jerking upwards unconsciously.

This guy pulled back with a chuckle.

“You seem particularly sensitive tonight. Or maybe you’re easily aroused right now…?”

Shintaro glared up at him, but with how hot his skin felt he knew how flushed his face had to be.

Working together, the two of them slid Shintaro out of his pants, and then this guy pulled his own pants down just enough to expose himself before finally taking the lubricant from Shintaro’s hand. He squeezed some out onto his fingers and tossed the tube to the side, then brought his fingers forwards. Shintaro took a short breath as they touched the outside of his ass, not pushing in, just resting there for a moment. His gaze drifted upwards, and Shintaro found himself taking another breath.

They waited like that for several seconds. The heat in Shintaro’s groin continued to churn, continued to set him on edge as the words he’d read before echoed in his mind again. _When deprived of oxygen, the brain enters a semi-hallucinogenic state_ …

Most likely, this guy was waiting for him to ask.

Shintaro swallowed thickly.

“… If you’re gonna do it, then do it.”

He smirked. “No protests this time?”

“You want me to?” Shintaro’s gaze flickered away for a moment, but he found nothing on the wall next to him to occupy his attention. “You don’t have to press my throat, right? The important part is the arteries, so actually choking me doesn’t get you anything.”

A widening of his grin. “It gets me wonderful noises, and that lovely terrified expression. Even when you’re accepting it, there’s always that moment of instinctive fear…”

Shintaro should have been ready for it, especially following that, but he still tried to gasp and couldn’t as a hand was suddenly tight around his neck. He didn’t even have time to grab the guy’s wrist before two fingers slipped into his ass.

It was fire, all of it. His lungs from the lack of breath, and his body from the way those fingers rolled his prostate around. Shintaro jerked, his body not registering more than _get away_ as sensations suddenly overwhelmed him all at once. But there was no getting away. There was no escape. There was never going to be. And maybe he didn’t actually want there to be.

He was given a quick lungful of air, and that seemed to be what Shintaro needed to get himself back under what little control he could have. He managed to uncurl his fingers from where they were wrapped around this guy’s unyielding arm and instead clenched them in the soft fabric of his sheets beneath him. He steadied his hips and relaxed and felt a third—and fourth…?!—finger slip inside of him in response.

“No wonder you’re aroused. You’ve been imagining this for _days_ , haven’t you?”

He couldn’t respond, but colors were starting to blur and the edges of his vision were disappearing. He didn’t nod, but maybe he didn’t need to. This guy probably already knew, somehow, the way that Shintaro had idly pressed his hand to his neck every so often and felt the way it made his heartbeat so pronounced against his fingers. The way that doing such a thing made his erection stir, though not quite go hard. The way he’d been waiting for this guy to come back so he could be reminded what it felt like to be fucked like this.

“I could get my whole hand in, I bet. Would you like that? Why, such a short time ago you could barely handle a couple fingers, and now you’d gladly accept my wrist!”

He didn’t know what he’d say even if he could respond. But this guy took away the internal turmoil of not knowing such a thing by not giving him a choice. First, by keeping him from being able to reply, and second by pulling his fingers out and starting to fuck Shintaro until he wasn’t able to even think about it.

He couldn’t gasp as this guy slid so easily inside of him, so he only clenched the sheets and arched himself into the movement. The world melted away so quickly from his oxygen-deprived brain, just leaving behind the waves of heat as this guy thrust into him and hit the spot that would make him moan if only he had the breath to do so.

The hand around his neck let up for a moment and he gasped, but then this guy thrust in, forcing the air from his lungs a moment before gripping tight once again. Memories of the article he’d read vaguely echoed in his mind as his vision swum, but it was all out the window once the thrusting picked up in pace.

This was much more like what he’d become used to. It was like drowning, submerged in an overwhelming heat he couldn’t escape that suffocated him under its weight. His lungs and throat ached and he let them, didn’t fight it, didn’t struggle. The only response Shintaro could manage was moving his hips in response to the thrusts sending these waves of overwhelming fire through him. Just the complacent acceptance, which little by little was slipping into something that might have even been enthusiasm.

Like claws digging into him and dragging his very essence out, his orgasm seared through his whole body an instant before being directed outwards. He was aware of the way a desperate-sounding choked noise fought its way out of his throat, but then the world melted away to the point where he couldn’t even hear himself anymore. Like all those times before, he was forced into this world of overpowering sensations.

There was something that felt more right about it like this.

Though this was most certainly the more dangerous option, Shintaro couldn’t exactly bring himself to care.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent like that, suspended in that state with too little air and heat crashing through him wave after wave, but this guy was still thrusting into him by the time Shintaro’s wits returned. Both hands were on his hips, holding him in place as he fucked Shintaro’s limp body. Shintaro couldn’t even tell if his own orgasm had faded or not, if the heat still pulsing through him was from himself or this guy, but there was no denying the way that the sensations returning to him had taken on a bit of a painful edge that wasn’t doing anything to arouse him or anything.

Should he ask him to stop?

“… Hey…”

This guy startled just a bit, his gaze snapping up to Shintaro’s face and his whole body giving a small jump. For a moment, he seemed surprised, but then his expression evened out into something that Shintaro didn’t know how to interpret. “You woke up quickly this time.”

He kept thrusting without pause.

Actually, it was definitely starting to hurt now…

“A-are you done yet? You’re—ow—” he winced as one particular thrust sent a painful spike through him, but even still, this guy kept moving. “Hey— _hey_ —!”

“If you’re going to keep complaining, _don’t wake up.”_

There was that grin again. That insane grin, the one that made Shintaro actually, genuinely afraid. This time he flinched, even let out a small yelp as a hand snapped forwards and wrapped fingers around his throat again. He tried to scream again, not even fighting to breathe. He wasn’t afraid of not being allowed to breathe. He was afraid of this guy snapping his neck.

Above him, this guy started laughing, started moving even harder into Shintaro’s body. Shintaro tried to twist away and as he desperately clawed at the skin of this guy’s hand in an attempt to get him to let go, but both hands holding hip and throat stayed secure like a pair of vises. He couldn’t remember it hurting this much before. Not his neck, and not his ass.

There was nothing sexy about it this time. There was no excitement. This was terrifying.

_“Aaah…”_

Over the sound of his heartbeat hammering in his ears, Shintaro heard this guy hiss out a pleased, disgusting noise as he finally came inside Shintaro’s body. A moment later, to Shintaro’s overwhelming relief, he let go. Shintaro collapsed back to the bed and only hesitated a second before scrambling backwards, one hand coming to his neck to protect it as he used his freshly-regained breath to begin coughing.

“Such a wonderful expression… it’s not as fun when you get too complacent, after all.” The guy leaned forwards a little and Shintaro’s entire body flinched back. The grin he received was nothing but smug. “Yes… exactly like that.”

He reached down and scooped a bit of the mess that had leaked onto the sheets in front of him and flicked it towards Shintaro. Shintaro remained frozen stiff, even as a bit of it splattered onto him. This guy chuckled in response.

They stayed like that for several seconds until he finally pulled himself from Shintaro’s bed. The guy took a few moments to straighten himself up, and then stepped out of the room, leaving Shintaro alone to realize that he’d started shaking.


	10. Chapter 10

That time, his dream was red again. Her cold smile surrounded in blood, running from him, just out of his reach. Standing there before him, the same smile as before.

The smile that he had been so afraid to lose, he’d stopped his passage of time to hold onto it.

_How could you let me die?_

The words echoed through him, filling his veins with ice, paralyzing him so he couldn’t chase after her any more.

She couldn’t be dead, though. She’d been right there.

He’d seen her, spoke to her, heard her voice.

Somehow, surely, if only he could stretch out his hand far enough, he would be able to reach her…

 

* * *

 

He woke with a startle, and took a moment to collect himself before he sat up slowly. Shintaro didn’t bother pulling himself out of his bed, just swung his feet onto the cold floor and stayed there, staring blankly, for several long minutes. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was trying to process the dream, or trying to forget it, but either way it sat heavy on his mind and his heart.

Eventually his eyes wandered towards the white tube of lubricant, sitting out in the open by the base of his chair. Probably, he should hide such a thing. Probably, his mother would inquire if she looked in and saw it. Probably, his sister would ask some obnoxious questions he wouldn’t have good answers for. Those were all probably things he should care about.

What the hell did any of it even matter, anyway?

“Master—ah…!”

Ene startled as he lifted his gaze towards her, though why she gave such a reaction, he didn’t know. She was making such an unpleasant, upset face at him. She deflected her gaze for several seconds, but when he didn’t turn away from her, she started fidgeting, and after more of a pause, hesitantly continued.

“Maybe, now you can try going outside…?”

His eyes narrowed a fraction, and suddenly he grabbed his pillow and threw it at the monitor. “Just shut the _hell_ up!”

She shouted in surprise and ducked, as if it were some reflex that could even help something like her. While he wasn’t right on target, his pillow clipped the edge of the screen well enough to knock it backwards. There wasn’t much of a crash, though it hit the wall, made a scraping sound as it tipped sideways, and ended in a thud as it settled askew on his desk.

After a couple long seconds, Ene slowly peeked out from the edge of the screen, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly. Whether she wanted to say something or not, she didn’t. And that was probably better for both of them.

“Shintaro? What was that noise?”

The sound of his mother’s voice floated through the door, but inside the room, the two of them remained unmoving. Like it was some sort of standoff. But then the growing sound of footsteps gave way to knocking, and Ene darted off the edge of the screen again as his mother slid the door open.

She looked first to Shintaro, then to the knocked-over monitor and the pillow sitting guiltily on the floor by his desk.

“… Honestly, you should be more careful. If something were to break…”

The words were weary, and Shintaro made no movement but to follow her with his gaze as she walked into his room and put the screen back upright. She hesitated a moment, but then picked the pillow up and gently placed it next to him on the bed.

“… Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

Then she, too, was out the door, leaving him alone with his virus yet again.

In the end, she hadn’t noticed the lubricant after all.

 

* * *

 

The sound of his door sliding open dragged him out of dreamless sleep, but before he could even lift his head a hand was around his neck and he was staring up at that deranged grin.

“How generous of you, Shintaro! You’re still obediently waiting for me right here.”

Shintaro made a choked noise and lashed out with a leg, but all that he was rewarded with was this guy climbing further on top of him, pinning down that leg with one of his own, leaving Shintaro unable to so much as make it budge. The grip on his neck let up for a moment, and despite the fact that his lungs were desperate for air, he forced the words out while he still had a chance. “I don’t care even if you kill me!”

He wasn’t sure whether or not it was entirely true, but it certainly held at least some bit of truth to it. He should have expected the way that even such words were met with another grin, but Shintaro couldn’t help but be pissed off anyway.

From off to the side, Ene let out a sharp gasp, but even though it was the first noise she had made in over a day, neither of them paid her any mind.

“Ah, but you’re still afraid of me, aren’t you? After all, there are plenty of things to be more scared of than dying. You of all people would…” He trailed off, seemingly amused at something. Shintaro took the pause to struggle underneath him again. This guy shifted, pinning him down further as he tightened his grip. Another desperate noise slipped from Shintaro’s throat. “Mm, but that won’t matter this time anyway.”

He leaned down and pressed his face against the crook where Shintaro’s jawline met his ear and took a long, slow drag of his smell. It had to be the way Shintaro was already feeling slightly dizzy and lightheaded, that made the sound cause his whole body to tingle and warm with arousal. He pressed his fingers into his sheets briefly, but then he reached up and grabbed this guy by the collar and turned his own head until their lips collided in a sloppy, rough kiss.

Somehow, it always came back to this, didn’t it? This guy using him for sex. Him using this guy for sex. That was all they really were to each other, after all.

“I’m going to fuck your mouth.”

Shintaro didn’t even realize they’d stopped kissing until he heard this guy murmuring into his ear. He wasn’t sure if the spike of heat up his spine was from the words, the breath on his skin, or both.

“If you want lube, you’d better handle it yourself, because when I’m done with your mouth I’m going to fuck your ass. Whether it’s ready for me or not.”

He let up on Shintaro’s throat to shift himself around, though he continued to pin Shintaro to the bed. Shintaro gave a light cough before speaking. “If you’re gonna say that, let me up so I can get it, bastard.”

But when he glanced to the side to look at the lubricant, he realized the tube was no longer where it had fallen. Shintaro looked around the floor desperately for several seconds—his sister hadn’t come in and found it, had she?!—but finally he caught sight of the fact that on top of him, the guy was pointing beside him on the bed. Sure enough, he followed the indication to find a short distance from where his hand rested on the sheets sat the tube.

How long had it been there?

But then it disappeared from his vision as legs settled to either side of his head. He barely had time to lift his gaze before a hand on his throat forced his head back, and a moment later this guy’s cock was shoved deep into his mouth. He went to choke and was already choking, but even though he reached up to claw at this guy’s back, he didn’t relent at all.

“Well, if you want to waste your time doing that, I don’t particularly care…”

Shintaro was helpless to stop him as this guy started moving his hips, dragging his cock in and out of Shintaro’s mouth. Even with that he kept his hand on Shintaro’s throat, always pulling back just enough when he let go that Shintaro could get a short breath through his nose to keep himself conscious. Already he could feel himself getting hard, even though if he had to describe it, he’d say he really hated giving head. Maybe it was just the anticipation of getting fucked in the ass later that was arousing him so much. Maybe it was the hand on his throat after all.

He clenched his fists in the back of this guy’s shirt one last time, then let his arms fall back to the bed and started groping around for the lubricant. He stopped paying attention to his mouth, just letting this guy fuck him how he wanted as Shintaro focused on getting himself ready instead. It was kind of hard with this angle, where he couldn’t see anything and his shoulders were pinned down, but he managed to squirt some lube—too much, it definitely dripped onto his hoodie—on his fingers and slide one into his ass.

This was his first time fingering himself, he realized, and only the second time having his fingers in an ass at all. He found he had to bend himself at an uncomfortable angle to reach, and it was really hard to tell when he was getting more lubricant inside, once he got the first bit. But, given that this guy probably had no intention of being nice, it was probably fine to just use a bunch…

It was strange to feel how easily his body adjusted to it as he slipped his fingers in. Just from someone else doing it, it was harder to tell, but now he was certain when there was a second finger inside himself, and a third… it really didn’t hurt at all, especially with the lubricant. He just opened up easily. And, definitely, with the way his head was spinning, there was a part to it that was getting him harder as he slid his fingers in and out inside of himself. Something that made just that little motion heat up all of his insides.

This guy’s cock hit the back of his throat and Shintaro’s whole body lurched in response as his attention was dragged back, but all he could do was make strained, pathetic noises as he failed to so much as properly choke on it. Above him, the guy was laughing, pressing himself deeper into Shintaro even as there wasn’t much further that he could go, and Shintaro found that he couldn’t concentrate on his ass anymore. It had been fine when he could just ignore it, but now that he was gagging…

He gave a loud gasp as suddenly the cock pulled out of his mouth and the hand on his throat let up. Not a second later that hand was back, though, and this guy’s stupid grin was hovering right above him. Shintaro knew what it meant, but it still caught him by surprise how fast this guy suddenly shoved himself right into Shintaro’s body.

Ah, the preparation had helped after all.

There was only a hint of pain to it. Mostly it was just the familiar fire burning inside of him, and his head spun as this guy pulled out and thrust back in again. He pushed himself back into the motions, forcing more pleasure into his body. It was all he could do at this point, but that didn’t change the fact that he was actually doing it, actually meeting these motions which would probably just be tearing up his insides if he hadn’t acted on the warning. Maybe it was because he knew that this guy didn’t care about him that it didn’t bother him. Maybe it was because he didn’t care about himself.

But none of that mattered, as with the third thrust, Shintaro tilted his head back and opened his mouth in a soundless noise as he came. Though his whole body was flooded with pleasure, it seemed that each time this guy moved inside of him, it pushed his consciousness a little further down, until finally, his whole body still wrapped in heat, the world slipped away entirely.

He was drawn back awake by a spike of pain, and as he reoriented himself to the world around him, he found that this guy was biting the side of his neck, nothing like a nip but outright _biting_. Like some animal holding their prey, waiting for it to die. It hurt, but after last time, Shintaro knew better than to protest. He just lay quietly, waiting for him to let up, or kill him. Though, a human jaw probably wouldn’t be able to kill a human if it were biting in that spot. Maybe it could if he picked a more vulnerable place, but it would need to be somewhere like the very front of his neck.

Still, the guy clenched his jaw for a moment and Shintaro couldn’t help the soft _“nngh”_ that slipped out before he could stop it. This guy gave a low hum, and several seconds later, pulled back and licked his lips.

“Yes, this is why I prefer you most of all.”

“You—” But Shintaro didn’t get any farther as his throat immediately raised protest and his voice cracked, so rather than saying anything more he suddenly found himself coughing. He hadn’t noticed it before but with each cough he could feel how raw his throat felt, even though he couldn’t remember this guy handling him roughly enough that it’d hurt like this. It could’ve been that he really wasn’t paying attention, or that the asphyxiation really did just make him that unaware of his own situation.

This guy didn’t even wait for him to finish before pulling the collar of his hoodie to the side and licking along the spot he’d just been biting. He’d probably left behind marks. They’d be hidden by the garment, after all. There was no reason why he wouldn’t.

By the time Shintaro finally stopped coughing, the guy was already heading out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

“Ah, Master, about… what you said before, to that weirdo…” She mumbled it and trailed off at the end, peeking at him hesitantly from the corner of his screen.

“Don’t mind it.” He replied decisively enough that she jumped, and even though his still slightly raw throat made his voice crack a little at the very end, no smug grin crossed her face this time. Ene went to direct her gaze towards something else, but the only options on her side of the screen were search results from a porn site, so after several seconds, she hesitantly settled her gaze back on Shintaro after all.

“It’s… it’s not the sort of thing I can just not mind, you know?!”

Somehow, it felt like it was the first time she had yelled at him in a very long time, but even despite that, he barely reacted. She seemed to not know how to deal with that, so after several seconds passed in awkward silence interrupted only by the sound of him clicking the mouse a few times, she tried again.

“How can you say something like you don’t care if you’re killed?!”

“Look, just shut up.”

He’d found what he’d been searching for, and a couple seconds later a video started playing on the window behind her. Ene startled and turned to see what it was.

On the screen was a woman in some sort of elaborate bondage. She squirmed for a bit, showing off her limited mobility, and then from off camera a man began groping at her body. That continued for several seconds, and then suddenly, he wrapped his hand around her throat.

Shintaro’s breath hitched loudly enough that Ene could hear it even over the sounds of the video. She turned to find that he wasn’t even touching himself, just watching, entranced, as the woman continued struggling and eventually began to moan as the touches got more intimate.

She’d probably let them tie her up. Now she was submitting to it, even if it wasn’t entirely pleasant. She couldn’t get away at this point.

He was probably no different than she was.

The man holding her neck let go for a moment, and Shintaro inhaled sharply in unison with the woman, only then realizing that he’d been holding his breath at all.

“Master, stop it!” The video disappeared from the screen, harshly jolting Shintaro back to reality. Instead Ene’s face appeared almost comically enlarged, glaring at him with an expression that seemed somehow both petulant and disturbed. “Overrule! Veto! I’ve put up with a lot for you, but I can’t allow you to keep watching this!”

Shintaro suddenly stood up and leaned closer to the screen, making Ene back up in surprise, returning her to her normal size. “I told you, didn’t I…? That if you ever interrupted me, I was going to use you instead…” He hadn’t quite been masturbating, but that didn’t really matter at this point. There was still the jarring, empty feeling, left behind as something he had been anticipating had been ripped away from him. He reached forward and pressed his fingers to the screen, obscuring most of her body beneath his hand. “I wonder if you can be choked.”

She froze, even making a soft, strained noise, the sort that he’d expect from someone in such a position. At least, if such a position were real.

His fingers slid down the monitor until his arm fell limp on his desk, and he gave a quick, soft laugh that had no amusement to it at all. “Of course not. If you could, I’d have done it a long time ago just to get you to shut up.”

He sat back down in his chair heavily and made a noise. It wasn’t quite a sigh, and not quite a groan. The sound of someone who had given up on himself, and was only continuing to exist because there wasn’t particularly any reason to change that. A sound that seemed to have no humanity to it at all.

A tired sound. The sound of someone who had put too much effort into something, when it hadn’t really mattered at all to him.

It seemed she hadn’t bothered to clear his browsing history after closing the tab, so Shintaro was able to open the video right back up again without issue. Once Ene realized what he was up to she apparently decided to make herself scarce. She disappeared from the screen, leaving him alone to watch the helpless woman as she was strangled and fucked, too entranced by it to even bother with touching himself.

 

* * *

 

In the end Shintaro didn’t come at all, so when that guy showed up in his doorway later the same day, resisting was the last thing on his mind.

“I’m going to fuck you again.”

He all but dragged him into a kiss, swallowing the chuckle that the declaration with wavering voice got from this guy before it could escape the space between the two of them. He let Shintaro do it, for a bit, then pulled them apart and grinned. “Not even asking for permission this time?”

“Why should I? You never ask with me.”

And maybe something was different today. He was agitated, on edge, frustrated at something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He wanted to watch the way this guy lost some of his control when it was Shintaro doing the fucking.

He wanted to get as close to hurting this guy as he dared get.

“Because, Shintaro, I don’t _need_ to ask permission.” The words sent a shiver up his spine that he tried to hide, instead glaring up into those strange yellow eyes and trying not to be intimidated once again. “But fine. You can have your fun again.”

He was out of Shintaro’s grip before Shintaro even realized he’d let go, but then he was sitting on the edge of Shintaro’s bed and slowly pulling his boots off. The speed and ease with which he’d separated the two of them was a bit jarring, and Shintaro found himself hesitating. But then this guy glanced up at him, and he quickly broke eye contact to lean down next to his bed and grab the tube of lubricant from the floor.

It felt like they’d already used so much of it.

In one motion he straightened up and leaned forward, pressing his lips against this guy’s once again and pushing him over onto his back on the bed. He felt the grin in the kiss but kept going anyway, setting the lube to the side to pull this guy’s pants off.

Somehow, it was so much easier this time. Maybe because he’d already fucked this guy once before. Maybe because he’d already been fucked by this guy so many times. The moment his pants were off, Shintaro pressed in between his legs and ground his still-clothed erection against this guy’s bare ass. The motion had him gasping before he realized it, and beneath him, this guy gave a soft laugh.

“Are you going to come before you even get inside me?”

“Shut up.”

He resumed kissing before this guy could say any more. The way he was leaning over him, pressed against him, made it a little awkward as Shintaro fumbled with the lubricant. But before too long he managed to get some on his fingers, and then before he could spend too much time thinking about it he slowly slipped one into the ass beneath him.

Hopefully this would go better than last time.

This guy took a quick, sharp breath, and when Shintaro pulled back a bit to look, his face was scrunched up and he was making a weird expression. This time, it was Shintaro’s turn to laugh softly.

“What’s with that face?”

“Sh-shut up.”

Fingers tangled in his hair and pulled him back down, and he found himself completely unable to pull away from the kiss this time. Shintaro slipped his finger back out and squeezed some more lube onto it, but when he went to push it back in, he was met with resistance.

“C’mon, don’t do that…” he mumbled sloppily into the kiss. After a bit of probing he managed to push his finger in anyway, and once the tip was in the lube let him slide the rest in easily, but it was still being squeezed and there was no way a second one was going to fit.

Suddenly the fingers in his hair clenched and teeth closed around his lower lip, drawing his attention away from this guy’s ass. Shintaro gave a startled cry of pain and tried to jerk away on instinct, but he was still being held down with far more strength than he had to pull back with. This guy made a snorting noise, and around Shintaro’s finger, the ring of muscle relaxed. Shintaro felt a flush of embarrassment, but with the way their faces were pressed together, there was at least no way this guy would see his face get redder.

He pushed a second finger in, and a third, but by that point the teeth digging into his lip were starting to really hurt. He tried to pull back again. “D-don’t break the ski— _nngh!”_

Those teeth clenched even tighter. But Shintaro had something he could do in retaliation, maybe only one thing, but one thing was all he needed. He didn’t remember what the shape was like, so he couldn’t quite target it, but he knew it was enough to just press his fingers upward and slowly move them back and forth in this guy’s ass.

It finally did the trick, rewarding him with a sharp gasp that freed his lip as this guy tossed his head back and his eyelids fluttered. A more insistent press and this guy let slip a groan, sending a spike of heat up Shintaro’s back and making his cock strain against his pants.

Fuck. That was just as irrationally sexy as it had been last time.

Shintaro swallowed thickly and tried to keep his voice steady.

“I’m gonna put it in, so stay relaxed this time.”

He pulled his fingers out and awkwardly worked his pants off his hips, trying to keep the mess on his fingers from getting on the fabric as he freed his erection to the air. A moment later he squeezed a large amount of lube directly onto his cock and gave himself a few quick rubs to spread it about and cover himself properly.

… Even that little already felt a lot better than using just hand lotion.

That wasn’t the point right now.

His gaze drifted to this guy’s ass, and then up to his face. He seemed to be keeping a neutral expression, but after a moment of Shintaro staring at him, the edge of his lips quirked up. “Are you afraid, Shintaro?”

Was he afraid? Hell yes. This guy was dangerous, terrifying, fucked him with no consideration for what he wanted, and Shintaro was only able to do even this much because this guy _allowed_ him to. Even when Shintaro thought he’d started to get a handle on this guy, he’d suddenly do something unexpected and leave Shintaro off-balance and unsettled. Every time, he came so close to killing Shintaro, and maybe if he actually went through with it for once it’d be fine because it would mean that Shintaro wouldn’t have to deal with any of this anymore.

“You’re crazy,” he mumbled in response, and though it wasn’t really an answer, at the same time it answered the question perfectly. But then he shifted, getting this guy’s hips on his legs so that when he pressed his cock forwards it slid into him so easily. Maybe it was because of that answer, or maybe not, but he’d stayed relaxed after all.

A low, almost appreciative noise slipped out of this guy’s throat. “Mmm, that _is_ much better, after all. But I suppose someone like you would know these things, wouldn’t you?”

Shintaro didn’t respond, except to shift this guy as he leaned forward and placed his hands to either side of his body. He still didn’t know what he was doing, but at least this time he had a better idea of the angles involved in having two bodies fucking. He pressed himself in a little deeper, then slowly started moving his hips.

It was better than even before. There was nothing uncomfortable about the heat; it was just rolling pleasure as he pushed himself in and out of this guy’s ass. There was no unpleasantness to the friction, no catching of skin against surfaces that were a little too dry. The lubricant took care of all of that.

Beneath him, this guy’s face had flushed, and he seemed unable to quite fully stifle the noises that Shintaro’s motions were pulling out of him. It almost made him grin in satisfaction, except his own face felt like it was burning up and his own breathing had soft noises to it as well.

Just as he’d started thinking it felt a little too gentle to suit the two of them, hands reached up to his neck, and Shintaro startled and froze as he felt fingers press at his skin.

… But, this time, it wasn’t painful. It took Shintaro a couple seconds to realize that _this_ had indeed been what that article had been talking about all along. Nothing was constricting his windpipe. This guy just had his thumbs pressed against Shintaro’s arteries, letting him breathe just fine despite the pressure. This was probably how this sort of thing was ‘supposed’ to be done.

“Do you want me to push you over again?”

It snapped Shintaro back to reality, and a second later he resumed thrusting, picking up his pace a bit. Despite the fact that he could inhale and exhale just fine, he realized his body was slowly starting to react as if he couldn’t breathe anyway. The edges of his vision faded out and colors started to swirl, and he gasped for air even as it freely flowed into his lungs. The heat from his cock moving in and out of this guy’s ass overwhelmed him bit by bit, eventually drowning out even the feeling of the fingers around his neck. His sight melted away into an indistinct swirl of colors and he just let his body go, let himself thrust with abandon into the warm heat surrounding his cock, because right now that was the only thing left in the world. The rest of his body only existed to feel the way shocks of heat echoed through him each time he pushed forwards or pulled back.

His rhythm was gone, his thrusts shaky and erratic, but he couldn’t care about things like that. Not when he was like this, when his body moved automatically to just get more pleasure. There was nothing left that he could control. He was too out of it to do so, to do anything deliberately. Just sinking farther into the sensations as everything around him continued slipping away.

It felt like it lasted forever, that world where the only sense left to him was the feel of fucking a hot, slick hole. Where he couldn’t see anything but a meaningless blur, white noise was the only sound in his ears, there wasn’t anything left to smell or taste and only the heat racing up and down his erection registered. He knew that there had to be more to the world around him, but he couldn’t even think of that when he was in such a state. He had to have come at some point; he might have even realized when it happened.

But it was all a blur in his memories when he came to with a startle to realize that he was lying alone on his bed. He pushed himself up and his head spun for a moment, but then the world righted itself and he realized that the guy was still here. He was leaned against Shintaro’s desk, making an annoyed face as he was trying to wipe… was that lubricant? off of his shirt. After a moment he tossed the tissue in the trash and glanced up to meet Shintaro’s gaze.

Several seconds passed in silence. Finally, he pushed himself up and started to head towards the door, and Shintaro startled.

“H-hey…!”

He paused and glanced back towards Shintaro, waiting for him to continue.

“Ah… you know, that worked just as well, right? Without the strangling. So… maybe next time, too…”

Shintaro trailed off as the guy’s face broke into one of those wide, insane-looking grins, sending a chill through his body and raising goosebumps on his arms. “No. Not next time.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived at the final chapter! Thank you so much for reading and coming along on this twisted ride with me. When I'd first started, I hadn't intended it to get nearly so long, but sometimes stories can get away from you like that!
> 
> Please consider checking out some of my other fics, and/or leaving a review letting me know how you felt about the story overall. I can't say I currently have planned anything else quite like this at the moment, but you never know when the next one-shot is going to suddenly sprawl again. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with this until the end! I hope you enjoy our conclusion as much as I hope you've enjoyed the rest.

Shintaro sat down in front of his computer, and his attention was immediately drawn to Ene by the sound of her taking a deep breath. She had her eyes closed, but before he could wonder what she was up to, she opened them again, glaring at him with a determined look on her face.

“What’s with that expression…?”

But he trailed off as he realized that his mouse cursor was no longer moving. He wiggled it again, and then a second time, more frantically. His gaze fell to his keyboard for a moment, but then he looked up again and quickly typed a shortcut to change the visible window. It, too, didn’t respond to his commands.

“Hey… _h-hey_ …!”

“Master, I’m sorry, but this is an ultimatum.”

His gaze was drawn back to her even as his eyes were still widening, and he could hear the sound of his heartbeat picking up in his ears.

“I’ve never had to do something like this before, but I’ve decided that you’ve left me with no choice.” A giant red background with a dark red pair of Xs suddenly replaced everything that was on the screen except for her. “For your own sake, Master, I’m requiring you to go outside! I’m not allowing you back onto your computer until you do it!”

“What… what the hell, Ene?! This isn’t funny! Come on, let me back—!” He desperately tried to move the mouse, but the cursor was completely gone now.

“You can’t stay here anymore! It’s…” She seemed to lose her energy a bit, her expression falling the more she spoke. “It’s changing you. It’s… hurting you. And, while you’ve been here the whole time, these past several weeks have…” She suddenly shook her head, and when she finished, regained that determined expression. “So you absolutely need to go outside! That’s my decision!”

“There’s no way I can go outside when Ayano might still—!”

_“Ayano’s been dead for two years!”_

Shintaro froze, that terrible, familiar pain springing up in his heart all over again. As Ene continued speaking, tears started to slide down her face and her gaze lowered.

“I have no idea what we saw, but that wasn’t her! That couldn’t have been her! If she’d been alive this whole time… if she had been…!”

“You…” Ene lifted her gaze back up to find Shintaro making a terrifying expression. Upset, and hurt, and very, very angry. “Stop talking about her like you know anything! You don’t know _shit_ about Ayano! You didn’t even know—…!”

But he suddenly cut himself off. A second later his eyes went impossibly wide.

“What the hell are you…?”

“Eh?”

Shintaro slammed his hands on the desk to either side of his keyboard and suddenly stood up. He leaned in so his face was all but pressed against his monitor, staring straight at Ene. “What the _hell_ are you?! How do you know about Ayano?!”

“Ah… I… I-I don’t—!”

 _“Bullshit!”_ He grabbed a corner of his monitor and shook it, and Ene cut off with a soft yelp. “You called her name first! When she came here, you were the one who called her name first! You knew about her! You’ve known this entire time!”

He took his other hand and pressed it against the screen, wanting nothing more than to reach into the monitor and grab her and shake all the answers out of her.

“What the hell are you?! What else do you know about her?!”

“A-ah…!”

Maybe his monitor started to warp, or maybe it was a trick of his rage, but for a moment, Shintaro felt as if there were actually some pressure he was squeezing against.

But he was drawn back with a start as the sound of his door slamming open echoed through the room. Shintaro jumped and took a step back as he looked up, though given the noise he wasn’t really surprised to find that guy suddenly framed in the doorway.

“It seems I just barely made it this time.”

 _“Go away.”_ Shintaro glanced back towards Ene to see her huddled up a bit on his screen, staring with wide eyes and a scared expression, before directing his attention back on the intruder. “I don’t want to fucking deal with you right now.”

He stormed over, fully intending to shove this guy back out the door and out of his room. But the moment he was within arm’s reach, hands grabbed the front of his hoodie and dragged him forwards. Suddenly his back slammed against the wall next to his doorway, and this guy was kissing him.

Shintaro grunted slightly at the pain, but was quickly trying to shove this guy off of him. Undeterred, he continued to pin Shintaro against the wall, even pressing himself in between his legs and grinding his cock, already hard enough for Shintaro to feel it through their clothes, against Shintaro’s crotch. It got a noise out of Shintaro that he hadn’t meant to make, something angry and raw and primal. Lips continued to press against his own, even as he bit one of them. Shintaro tried to push this guy away but couldn’t get him to budge at all. All he was really doing was draining his own strength in his attempts at struggling.

That was all his struggling ever got him, in the end.

He ground against Shintaro again and that noise slipped out once more. Shintaro hesitated for only a moment, then took advantage of the fact that this guy was thoroughly pinning him to lift his legs up and wrap them against his waist, so that the next time he did it, it would be against Shintaro’s ass. And sure enough, he did it again, sending a spike of heat through Shintaro and making his whole body suddenly anticipate where this was going. Where this sort of thing always went.

He could get back to interrogating Ene after this guy was done having his way with him.

Shintaro let go of his lip to allow the two of them to kiss properly. But that only lasted a moment, before suddenly this guy was using his grip on Shintaro to move the two of them. Shintaro tightened his legs on reflex, but it was a second later that his back hit the bed and he relaxed a little again.

Teeth bit into _his_ lip this time, and this guy shifted a bit so he could start to slide Shintaro’s pants off his ass. Shintaro froze for a moment. “Lube—” But then a dry finger slipped into his ass, and he knew that it meant that this time, they’d be doing it without again. “… Jerk.”

He relaxed around the finger, even as the friction was a bit unpleasant. But it was only a problem for a moment, as this guy let go of his lip and pulled back with a grin. Somehow, it looked different this time. Shintaro was about to ask about it, but instead this guy’s free hand was suddenly pressing against his neck and he choked a little. It caught him off-guard and he unconsciously struggled for a moment, but then the movement inside of him resumed, dragging him back to familiar sensations. It was probably bad after all that he was so used to such a thing, but they’d already proven well enough for him that this actually did feel better when he couldn’t breathe. So rather than continue his struggle, Shintaro clenched the sheets beneath him to force himself to stay still, and then a few seconds later, relaxed again.

The world slipped away bit by bit as he felt more fingers slide into his ass. The longer he was cut off from oxygen, the less his body seemed to acknowledge the friction, and the looser he got without even really needing this guy’s fingers to prepare him at all. He wasn’t quite sure whether there were three or four of them inside him by the time they slid out entirely, only to soon be replaced by a cock. The first thrust felt like it might have burned just a little bit, but he continued to move slowly in and out of Shintaro, and each time it seemed to hurt less. Shintaro couldn’t tell if that was because there actually was less pain, or if he just wasn’t feeling the same pain as strongly, but at this point, it didn’t really matter. After a few thrusts, the guy shifted to where he didn’t have to hold Shintaro’s hip. Instead he brought it forward and wrapped his second hand around Shintaro’s throat as well.

It felt like it was possibly tighter than usual this time, but Shintaro couldn’t really care even as his lungs started to burn from the lack of oxygen. Just as he started to wonder if it was something he should be worried about, this guy started thrusting faster, sending that overwhelming heat through him and chasing any thoughts he might have had straight from his mind. Shintaro tipped his head back and let his eyes slide shut for a moment, and when he reopened them, the image of his room around them seemed to have given way to a dark haze. It felt like the grip on his neck had lasted longer than usual. Wasn’t this guy supposed to give him a moment to breathe again? Or maybe it actually hadn’t been that long yet…

He glanced downwards, and even with his vision swirling, this guy’s face still stood out. He was making a weird expression, the likes of which Shintaro had never seen him make before. It was still a smirk, but it wasn’t exactly his usual smirk. There was some strange aspect to it, almost like a smile, if this guy were capable of such a thing. Actually, something about that looked kind of like…

Something jogged in his memory, something that he’d been forgetting for a long time. The suddenness with which it came back to him made him physically startle, because despite the way it was so hard to think right now, a flood of memories started to wash through him. Maybe it was because he didn’t have the mental faculties to keep all those memories suppressed. Not right now. Not anymore.

Shintaro pressed his fingers into the bed beneath him.

“Haru… ka…?”

He wasn’t sure if he’d managed to say it at all, or if it had just been a movement of his lips. Either way, surprise overtook this guy’s face, and he let go of Shintaro’s neck. Shintaro gasped on reflex, fully expecting those hands to close tight before he even got a full lung’s worth of air. But he managed to take two complete, unobstructed breaths before being cut off once again. Those fingers were definitely tighter than before.

Above him, this guy was giving a small smile.

“Ah, he finally noticed. Too bad. Maybe if he’d realized sooner, you’d have been able to save him.”

The fingers on his neck twitched and then tightened a little more.

Although, that break had given him enough oxygen that his vision was mostly back to normal, so now Shintaro could see well enough to tell that there was actually something weird going on. Above him, this guy was still framed in black. The ceiling that Shintaro would have expected to see behind him seemed as if it had a giant hole in it, a hole that extended down the wall next to the two of them as far as he could see in the edges of his vision which were still fuzzy. Shintaro tried to turn, though the hands on his neck made such a thing both difficult and painful, but he could glance to the side just enough to tell that whatever this strangeness was had left his desk, computer, and the wall behind it intact. He couldn’t see any lower than that like this.

What the hell was all this, even…?

But a moment later, all of that became irrelevant as without any warning this guy began thrusting in earnest. Shintaro shuddered and choked out a weak shout as the first few thrusts were dominated by the sensation of the friction, but soon the lack of oxygen overtook his body once again. Just like before it melted all the pain away, until it was just one pleasurable blur.

He had no idea how long it lasted, only that those fingers continued to press his throat without pause. This guy shifted, changing the angle and immediately flooding Shintaro with a heat like nothing before. He had no chance to even brace himself for it, and all Shintaro could do was open his mouth in a silent noise as he came. But everything else had already faded out on him, and with the sudden rush of pleasure tingling through him, the rest of the world slipped away entirely.

 

* * *

 

Below it, the body slowly stopped responding to its thrusts, getting limper with each passing second. Still it kept going, letting the pleasure of fucking Shintaro’s body wash through it until the pulse beneath its fingers began to slow. This, it knew, was the end.

At the thought, against its will, it felt its fingers loosen slightly. But all that did was bring a grin to its mouth. A moment later, it pushed down the last of the faint presence still remaining inside of it and tightened its hold on Shintaro’s throat, savoring the last few weak beats of the heart in its grip. It was far too late to stop any of this.

It gave one last thrust and came inside him, letting out a laugh distorted by the physical response of orgasm. After all, everything had gone so wonderfully, not even according to plan but _better,_ that as it drew the last of the physical pleasure it had earned this time there was no stopping the way its ecstatic, overjoyed laughter spilled out along with its climax. It didn’t care about any sort of appearances at this point, anyway. After this, it would all be reset.

Beneath its fingers, the pulse had stopped completely.

Shintaro looked so peaceful beneath it, eyes shut, mouth slightly open as if still searching for just a little bit of breath, his whole body relaxed. He’d eventually consented this time, too. Even though he’d called out to his friend at the very last moment, he still lay back and let the end come anyway.

It took another several seconds to enjoy the stillness before it slowly pulled out.

A moment later, as if it had been waiting for the two of them to finish, the space around them started to absorb Shintaro’s body, obediently following the command it had been given all those years ago. Watching the boy beneath him dissolve into the darkness around him, it grinned. “This one won’t be returning,” it murmured with satisfaction as it watched the still-warm corpse being swallowed up by the other world. “A shame, isn’t it? There are no snakes left to bring you back here.”

Beneath it, Shintaro continued to slip away until he had vanished entirely. Its task complete, the hole to the other world closed and disappeared as well. Colors and shapes returned to the room as if they’d never been gone in the first place, leaving it alone as it kneeled on Shintaro’s bed. The lack of Shintaro’s presence was the only indication remaining that anything had happened at all.

“M-Master…?”

The weak voice drew its attention to the side, to the blue figure still framed on a red background, watching the whole scene with fear in her eyes. That was right. She hadn’t disappeared yet this time.

“Master… Shintaro…! _Shintaro!_ What did you do with Shintaro?!”

“You should know the answer to that.” It couldn’t help but grin at her. It casually stood up and set about straightening up its outfit, expression never wavering even as it fixed itself up. “After all, you’ve been to that _other world_ yourself.”

“Other…?” Her eyes went wide, and she took a shaky breath. It knew that she, too, had fought so hard to forget the circumstances surrounding such a thing, but with such a response she would have no choice but to remember it once again. “No. N-no. No, you didn’t… you couldn’t…! Bring him back! Bring Shintaro back…!”

“No one can bring him back now.” Clothes back in place, it strode over to the computer, to her. “There are no more existences left that can revive the dead from there.”

At its words, she shuddered and dropped her gaze. Several seconds passed in silence as she digested the information, and with each moment her shoulders shook a little more. When she spoke again, it began as a mumble, and she kept her eyes lowered. “You… you’re a liar. You’ve been Konoha the whole time, haven’t you…?”

“Ah, that wasn’t any lie. While it’s true that I took this body, the existence you think of as ‘Konoha’… I suppose it wouldn’t be correct to say he’s in here.” It put a hand to its heart. “After all, I crushed him completely. But my own existence is not the same one as his.”

“Crushed him—!?” She looked up suddenly, revealing that the tears had already started falling down her face. She opened her mouth to say more, but cut off as it put its hand against the screen. As it wrapped its fingers around her throat.

“Right, crushed him. After all, this tragedy couldn’t exist with him. But, it couldn’t exist without him. I’m grateful to him, really, and to you. All of you. You keep making the same mistakes over and over again. You make this so easy, and so fun. But, now that I’ve taken your beloved Shintaro from you, the contract that bound your ability is void, isn’t it? You no longer have ‘a place for you’ to continue to exist in. Without that, if you’re destroyed, you will not be able to come back.”

“… ah…?!”

It squeezed. Beneath its hand, she offered a moment of resistance, but then her body shattered and vanished. This time, it could no longer be restored.

With that, the four children had fulfilled their purposes. The one who had made this body for it. The one who had pulled forth the power of immortality and put it in such a fragile state. The one who had given the power of immortality a fragile place to exist in. And the one who had foiled the plan to grant a wish, allowing it to decide that the only way to truly grant it would be to try all over again from the very beginning.

The physical pleasure had simply been a bonus on top of it all.

It grinned to itself, and a second later, calmly walked out of the room, leaving behind the empty bed and the bright red screen with XX framed within.


End file.
